


The Deal

by squishypeaches



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, clichéd, one sided chen/xiumin, wedding au, why is minseok getting married in all my works
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2020-07-31 08:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 34,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20112025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squishypeaches/pseuds/squishypeaches
Summary: Minseok is getting married and neither Jongdae nor Junmyeon like it. Somehow, they make a deal.





	1. the meeting

**Author's Note:**

> this was such a bad idea.  
pls write more suchen for me.

Jongdae has a reputation. He's never late, works hard, joins friends gatherings and smiles a lot. That's how he got himself a good promotion, the trust of his boss, and the sympathy of Kim Minseok.

To Jongdae, Minseok is a lot of things: clever, charismatic, trustworthy, an actual friend rather than a simple colleague. Most of all Minseok is caring and unbelievably handsome and about to marry the prettiest girl Jongdae has ever laid his eyes on.

Unluckily , because life is a bitch and always ready to dig you with the worst cliches, Jongdae also has the most unhealthy crush on soon-to-be-married-Minseok.

That's why when the guy appeared in front of him that morning during coffee break, a sweetened americano in one hand and a white envelope on the other, Jongdae already knew he was in trouble.

"A congratulatory dinner," Had said the elder "with all my relatives and friends, to celebrate the news. It would mean a lot if you came". Jongdae had inevitably nodded, sighing heavily and cursing himself for being once again the perfect supportive friend. When Minseok had smiled in return, Jongdae almost thought it was worth having his heart shattered.

Almost.

Of course knowing he's the only workmate Minseok invited made Jongdae feel special and a little less hopeless, but as for now while sitting at the huge table filled with people he doesn't know, Jongdae pretty much only wants to go home.

"A cheer! To my beautiful daughter for snatching one of the very few gentleman this world has to offer. I always knew you were clever just like me".

Ahh, cheers. Jongdae can see the sparks on their eyes, how both Minseok's and the bride's parents are ready to boast and get emotional over the fact their children grew up so much.

It's sickening and sad and Jongdae gladly wants to snort and just eat enough dessert to get high on maraschino cherries. Minseok is too far away anyway, linking arms with his fiancee and Jongdae isn't a shy person but the two people sitting beside him (a 5 years old child with dirty spots on his shirt and a young apparently depressed man) don't look too friendly.

On the other hand Minseok is gleaming, his cheeks are tinted because of all the wine his relatives forced inside him and his tie is messily hanging on his chest.

Damn, he looks gorgeous and Jongdae wants to kiss him the way he's kissing his soon-to-be wife.

Life is pretty unfair sometimes.

"Cheers! To my son, for it's final that he's not gay! "

Minseok's dad gulps down his wine and Jongdae dramatically rolls his eyes. There's a collective laugh followed by more drinks and cheers and Jongdae dives for his sparkling water like it's whiskey.

"That's because I've never tried too hard"

A small chuckle comes from beside him. He didn't really plan to be heard but depressed-man is grinning widely even though his eyes are still glued on the glass in his hand.

Jongdae feels slightly embarrassed for being caught but the young man doesn't seem to care about his remark. He still apologizes.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"To be heard?"

Depressed-man is now laughing even more, turning to face Jongdae and the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles look almost familiar.

Jongdae is left stunned for a moment before he takes another sip of his drink and mumbles another apology.

"I take it you're here for the groom, how do you know Minseok?" Depressed-man doesn't look very depressed now that he's chuckling like Jongdae's crush itself is the most interesting entertainment.

"We work together"

The man's mouth goes wide in acknowledgment, in a silly childish way that threatens Jongdae to burst out laughing. At least now he has someone to talk with.

"So you're an accountant. I hope not a boring one like Minseok"

Jongdae doesn't know if he should feel offended, he's more focused on why this guy isn't using the proper honorific with Minseok. They can't be close, he has never met him in any of the gatherings with Minseok's friends.

"I'm not boring. I'm Kim Jongdae by the way"

"Ah. Of course you're Kim Jongdae" He says nodding to himself. "I'm Junmyeon, Kim as well"

They shake hands, a short shake but enough for Jongdae to be annoyed by how strong Junmyeon's grip is despite the man being even shorter than him. He looks fit too. Jongdae can't quite swipe off the thought this Junmyeon reminds him of someone.

"Minseok never talked about you" Jongdae looks around, hears the loud pop of another bottle being opened. "How do you know him?"

"We've been known each other since we were born"

In his eyes there's a longing feeling, a particular affection Jongdae didn't expect. For a moment he questions if Junmyeon, too, might have a crush on Minseok.

"That's why you look depressed? Because he's getting married?"

"Yes.. and no. I just really hate weddings"

There's this awkward moment when Jongdae knows that the other is thinking about something he isn't going to let out yet he doesn't do anything to break the tension. This guy truly reminds him of...

"And you? You like Minseok, huh? What it feels like to be _you_ right know?"

"As shitty as ever" Jongdae replies honestly and Junmyeon chuckles again showing his perfect white teeth. "I didn't want to out myself but this is the last chance I have to express my feeling and his dad has been a... "

"Jerk?"

"A real ass"

Junmyeon has this way to laugh tilting his head a bit, with the brightest eye-smile and Jongdae is wondering how could he find him gloomy at first when he's radiating. Now that he's paying attention, Junmyeon is actually really handsome, once again, in a very familiar way.

"I know" Junmyeon says after wiping off a few tears. "Dad can be a little tactless sometimes"

_Dad?_

"Dad?"

Junmyeon ignores his confused face and taps the edge of his glass nervously.

"I think it's my fault, the first time I brought a guy home he almost had an heart attack. With time he got used to the idea but I know it still pisses him off"

"Wait, wait. Wait. Your dad?"

Now Jongdae is so shocked he feels his eyes are about to get stuck like that. It can't be, he can't be so cursed he just confessed his crush in front of...

"Don't worry" Junmyeon winks. "I won't tell my brother. Your secret is safe with me"

And that's it, Jongdae hopes the earth would open and swallow him. His ears start to burn, his throat is so tight and knotted he barely is able to whisper "Fuck my life".

By midnight Minseok has his tie knotted on his head and is too drunk for his own good, still he rushes to Jongdae with a fake mic in his hands and hands it over to his friend.

"Sing for me Jongdae-ya, your voice is soooo beautiful!"

Jongdae hears Junmyeon trying to suppress a laugh, covers him with his whole body to block Minseok's sight on his brother.

"I don't think it's a good idea, it's actually time for me to go"

Minseok does this cute pout that has Jongdae fight over the need to punch him or kiss it away.

"But!"

"You're too drunk, man. Please you're embarrassing your own fiancee"

As a reply, Minseok does little aegyo and Jongdae can see Junmyeon choking on his drink, starting to cough for air. Well, he can relate.

In the end his workmate hugs him and wishes him goodnight, saying he would miss him. Jongdae feels his cheeks burn a bit at the words but then remembers Minseok is so wasted he wouldn't even be able to recognize him from his grandma.

When the cold air hits him outside, he's almost relieved the dinner is over. Jongdae takes a breath, inhales deeply and..

"Hey kid!"

And grunts for the million time that evening.

Junmyeon is rushing towards him, hands deep into the pockets of his suit pants and a wide smile on his lips.

Somehow during dinner, the guy found out he was older than Jongdae by a year and started to call him 'kid' since then.

"You?"

"Me!"

Junmyeon looks cheerful and harmless even with that grin plastered on his face. He's walking towards him with a confidence Jongdae expects to see from some high class businesses man. He can smell something fishy.

"If you're here to threaten me then-"

"I'm here to suggest a deal"

Jongdae is not sure about it, he barely knows Junmyeon and although the young man doesn't seem dangerous, he can't really know. Not even if he's Minseok's brother.

"Go on" He says keeping a few feet away.

"You like Minseok and I don't like that he's getting married." Jongdae holds his breath and the elder must notice because he starts to scratch the back of his head nervously. "I know, shocking. But he's my brother and I know what's best for him and that woman... she isn't"

"Don't you think he's old enough to know what's best for himself?"

"He only knows what others expect him to do."

Junmyeon has this frown on his face that tells he knows more than he's intended to say. But, again, Jongdae can't fully trust him.

"what is it about?"

The man grins like he's already savoring his victory. "I'll help you with my brother and you.. won't have to do anything. Just be sure to make him fall for you and call the wedding off"

"That's insane. I like Minseok hyung but I'm not that dirty to end his engagement. Liking someone means that you want them to be happy first"

It's chilly outside but Jongdae feels hot and raged, he's not so miserable and every word come out with spite leaving a bitter taste on his tongue.

But then Junmyeon is taking a step forward, placing a hand on his shoulder and that guy should really stop being this bold. "Trust me, I've seen my brother happy before. This is not a happy Minseok, it's more of a okay-Minseok, or a life-could-be-worse-Minseok" He takes a breath. "But definitely not a happy one"

"Then why me?"

Junmyeon looks taken aback, like it's such a useless question, obviously never considering the fact Jongdae could still fail the mission. He's speechless for a while and Jongdae feels nauseated seeing how the other is so willing to use him to end his brother's engagement. Minseok is more than a friend to Jongdae, he's also more than a crush. He looks up to him and cares for him and most of all doesn't want to be a disappointment. He also doesn't want Minseok to stare at him with pity, or disgust and by far the man never shown a sign of being interested in something different from their friendship.

Jongdae likes to think that if only Minseok liked guys, then he would be his first choice. But that's not the case and Jongdae can't believe what Junmyeon is asking him. Minseok's brother himself.

Jongdae swats the man's hand away from him, irritated. "Are you listening to your own words? Why do you think your brother would just throw away his marriage for me? We just met, you don't know anything about me"

Junmyeon holds up his hands like he's trying to calm him down. "You seem okay. I think he can like you"

Now Jongdae is fuming.

"Do you realize what you're doing is wrong? What it means I'm okay? That this way Minseok would still be "okay" and not "happy"? I'm this close to feel offended, Kim Junmyeon and I think it's better if I leave now. Actually, you too"

Maybe he's being a bit overdramatic, but Jongdae has to deal with the fact Minseok won't ever be his already, he doesn't want to be even more pathetic. And Junmyeon is being way too arrogant under that gentleman face.

Jongdae turns without looking back, walking fast towards his car and hearing Junmyeon calling his name from the back. He doesn't regret his choice, Minseok deserves to be happy. Minseok is happy, no matter what his brother says. Right? No way perfect, wise, smart Kim Minseok would ever marry someone he doesn't truly love. Right?

"Kim Jongdae!"

Junmyeon's voice is getting thinner, sign that the man is not following him, luckily.

He's almost reached his car when one last sentence is shouted behind him.

"Minseok has dated a guy before!"

He stops. Actually freezes on the spot. He can't move at all, Junmyeon's words echoing inside his head.

_Minseok.. what?_

At first he feels betrayed, his friend never told him anything despite Jongdae being sincere about his liking since their first few meetings. But then it just digs on him what Junmyeon is implying. Minseok dated a guy before. Minseok isn't so straight after all. He could have a chance with Minseok.

But that's still wr-

Jongdae jumps a little when he feels Junmyeon nudging at his shoulder.

"So?" The other asks, lowering his voice.

Jongdae shakes his head, trying to think with a clear mind. He can't do that to Minseok but, what if Junmyeon's right? And what if Minseok is happy but could be happier with him?

"This is so selfish"

"If he's sure of his choice he won't break the engagement"

"But he'll break my heart"

Junmyeon comes closer, Jongdae can feel his breathe on his neck, his confident tone, the way he grips on his wrist as to convince him he won't be alone.

"I'll help you. If I sense that we're failing I'll call us off the game before your friendship with Minseok goes to disgrace"

There's a long sigh and Jongdae finds that it's his. He's ashamed of his own weakness but also excited at the thought Minseok could truly see him as something more than a colleague.

"You're an awful brother"

Junmyeon chuckles and finally Jongdae feels brave enough to turn and face him. He's smiling with a brightness in his eyes that makes him look like he's just cracked out the funniest joke and not planned to break his brother's marriage.

"Give me your phone" He says extending his hand. Jongdae is reluctant but gives up in the end, handing his phone to Junmyeon and waiting for the latter to type quickly something into it. When he's done, Junmyeon has the proudest look on his face. It's honestly almost scaring.

"What did you do?"

"Scheduled a date with my brother this Saturday" The other smiles innocently and hands Jongdae's phone back. "You're welcome".


	2. first date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a date and lots of ice cream

Their date has Jongdae panic on Saturday morning surrounded by clothes and shoes while he can't decide which outfit should go better for the event. He wants to impress Minseok but also doesn't want him to notice. Minseok has texted him the night before just to let him know how excited he is to spend a day with his favorite mate and that he has so many things he wants to say, so many things he wants to do... and Jongdae only replied with a flexed biceps emoji cause he's a loser and a very coward one.

A text from Junmyeon reminds him that he's supposed to meet Minseok at the main gate of the Olympic Park, just like he has texted his brother pretending to be Jongdae. Somehow Jongdae both loves and hates Junmyeon for choosing the park as their first date, it's too clichéd and romantic and gives out Jongdae's intentions pretty easily. But at the same time he can't think about any other place he would like to visit with his hyung.

While he takes the bus (because who knows, maybe Minseok would offer to drive him home) he thinks that he should at least feel bad for what he's doing, but after a few night of sleep and dreams about him and Minseok, the uneasy sensation has been easily washed away by a new determination burning inside him.

He arrives at their meeting point a bit early, too excited and nervous. His hands are trembling and no matter how much he's rubbing them on his pants, they won' stop sweating.

Minseok is almost never late, but Jongdae doesn't worry when after five minutes there's no trace of the man in sight, he could be stuck in the traffic or maybe he's stopped to buy him flowers. Yeah, delusional.

It's after another ten minutes that he pulls out his phone from his pocket and checks for any 'Im late' messages. And there's, in fact, a message. And Jongdae's smile fades.

He bites his lip and glances around him to make sure no one's listening, then he call that one number that he saved as "_emergency only_" only a few nights back.

"_Hello?_"

The voice from the other side comes sleepy and croaky, a bit weird being almost noon but Jongdae has other worries now.

"Your brother ditched me"

"_Uhm? Who's this?_"

"I'm Jongdae, dumb. My God are you sleeping? Really?"

He doesn't want to be rude but Minseok just texted he can't come and Jongdae feels too stupid and embarrassed standing alone at the main entrance of the park, everyone can say he's been stood up. And this is all Junmyeon's fault.

"_What happened?_" His voice is so hoarse and raspy, he can hear Junmyeon clearing his throat and there's a noise of rustling and shifting. He can't believe this bastard is napping while he's living his own nightmare.

"Minseok texted he had some last minute appointment for the wedding, he can't come."

"_Oh.._" Junmyeon doesn't seem to be surprised or to even feel bad about it. In fact he starts chuckling, muffling the laughs probably on his pillow. How he even dares. "_So you're alone, just go home_"

Jongdae almost curses. He's spent the whole morning trying to find the perfect outfit, he went so far as to watch a tutorial on how to apply eyeliner making it look natural and this dude is telling him to just go home.

"I can't go home, I feel depressed and humiliated and-"

"_-a bit dramatic_" Junmyeon is chuckling again but this time it doesn't get on Jongdae's nerves, no he actually finds it reassuring. So much that he half smiles-half sighs.

"I knew it was a bad idea."

There's more shuffling from the other side and a small thud. Junmyeon yawns with his phone way too close to his mouth.

"_It's just the first time, I'm sure Minseok will want to make up for it_"

More noises come from the line, a door being opened, water running, the soft brushing of a toothbrush.

"Maybe I should really go home at this point"

"_Fon't_" Junmyeon says, even though he sounds funny while probably brushing his teeth. He spits, rinses his mouth. Jongdae can quite picture the boy in a small bathroom with sleepy eyes and a towel around his shoulders. "_I'll be there in twenty, just wait for me_"

Jongdae doesn't have the heart to ask why, he's just happy someone is coming to his rescue.

It takes 20 minutes for real for Junmyeon to make his way towards the crowd, waving hands and cheerfully screaming his apologies like it's his fault that Jongdae had to wait so long.

The guy is dressed casually with an ugly green baseball cap reciting 'request a song'. He looks a bit tired, Jongdae notices dark circles under his eyes and a faint hint of foundation to cover them. He can't help but feel guilty, Junmyeon really didn't have to come just to make him look less pathetic and Jongdae hopes he hasn't cancelled any plan to go meet him.

"I know, I'm late. I'm sorry" Junmyeon says a bit too loud than it's necessary and honestly, Jongdae is confused.

"You're not late. Your brother ditched me, remember?"

The other rolls his eyes, lowers his tone.

"Yes and you don't want everyone to know"

Then grabs his arm and leads him inside the park, walking fast and not sparing a single glance to the younger. It's only when they reach the relaxing area surrounded with trees and benches that Junmyeon finally acknowledges Jongdae's presence. He clasps his hands and points to a bench facing a small fountain.

"Let's sit here, we can take the chance and teach you more about my brother"

Junmyeon, Jongdae realizes each passing minute, is very similar to Minseok. They're both charismatic and polite, like to throw bad jokes and laugh squinting almost completely their eyes. Maybe Junmyeon isn't a neat-freak like his brother if the huge spot on his jeans gives it away. Spot that he's very well aware of considering that he's carelessly scratching off the dirt. And opposite to his brother, Junmyeon has a way of talking that enlace you to his words, takes all the attention and charms you into believing everything he says.

"So, tell me about you"

To say that Jongdae feels awkward is an understatement. They're sitting on a bench, half a meter away and despite Junmyeon has talked for a while about recent movies he and Minseok had enjoyed (Jongdae was surprised to find out the two brothers are sharing a flat), it starts to down on him how he's spending his Saturday afternoon with a perfect stranger in the middle of a park crowded with couples.

"I thought you wanted to teach me about Minseok"

Junmyeon smiles and tilts his head back.

"We'll get there. Need to see if you two are compatible"

"Don't you think it's a bit too late now?"

He can't help the acid reply. Jongdae is still too insecure about this whole situation, knows he's not in the right, doesn't know if he can truly trust Junmyeon. The latter doesn't seem to care though. He closes his eyes and inhales deeply.

"Request a song" He says after a moment.

"What?"

Junmyeon taps his cap and looks at him expectantly. He doesn't look nervous at all and Jongdae kinda hates him for a second.

"If you had to request any song now, which one would you choose?"

That's a really hard question, something Jongdae would probably mull over for a week scrolling through his 1000+ songs playlist on Spotify, and most of all he doesn't understand how the question is related to getting to know Minseok. He just shrugs and spits out the last title he's listened to.

"I don't know. Red Velvet's 'Red Flavor'?"

Junmyeon fakes a heart stroke, dramatically grabbing at his chest.

"Nice one but that's more my type rather than my brother's"

"Uh?"

There's half a smirk on Junmyeon's face that makes him look as if he thinks he owns the world. He puts his sunglasses on and looks straight ahead of him.

"First lesson. Minseok likes soft relaxing music, something you can listen to after a stressful day at work. Music is a meaningful part of his life, he used to dream of becoming a singer so," The guy flicks his tongue "I hope you like it too"

"I do but. Don't you think he should like me for who I really am? Isn't this just pretending I'm his type?"

Junmyeon stares at him slightly offended, lips pursed in a (still handsome) grimace. Jongdae turns away unbothered, his mother taught him to never change for anyone 'if they don't like you for who you are then they don't deserve you at all'. But Minseok was also already engaged with another girl and Jongdae was kinda desperate.

"Minseok hyung knows me and likes me for who I am" He concludes anyway.

The other is watching, no, glaring holes in his head.

"Yeah, he likes you. As a friend"

"I still don't get why you're so obsessed with your brother's marriage?"

Something crosses Junmyeon's eyes at that, just the tiniest hint of guilt mixed with, Jongdae wouldn't bet on it, anger. The man had been clear on his intentions. In some ways Jongdae can see how much Junmyeon believes he's acting for the best and he's glad at least one of them know what they are doing.

Jongdae lifts his brows waiting for a reply and for once the other seems nervous.

"I already told you how my brother dated a guy before, right?"

Jongdae nods, his belly doing weird summersaults at the thought of his crush kissing another man.

"Well.." Junmyeon taps the edge of the bench avoiding the younger's eyes. "I also told you how my dad didn't react well when I first brought home a guy years ago. At that time Minseok had this boyfriend a few years younger than him, and it was already hard for them to see each other since my brother was attending uni out of town and when dad went nuts because of me and my non-straightness, my brother didn't have the heart to actually take the next step with his boyfriend and they broke up pretty badly"

His words are sincere and the way his lips tremble a bit makes Jongdae feel bad for him. Somehow Junmyeon must have suffered a lot thinking his brother was throwing his life away just so he wouldn't have to give up too.

"I love my brother, we're only a year apart and we grew up together. He was the kind of brother who takes care of you and leaves you the last cookie and lets you play with his toys if you're crying. He did so much for me, he even allowed me into his house when I was too sick of our parents and too broke to rent a flat. Now's my turn to reciprocate, I only want him to do whatever it makes him happy"

Jongdae has a brother too, he loves him and it's been hard for him when he left home for college. He can't say he completely understands Junmyeon's intentions, but he figures they're less harmful that it seems.

Still Jongdae cannot hand well feelings, in particular when they come from a person he barely knows, so he looks around and coughs out "So you want me to change because you want your brother to be himself. Ironic don't you think?"

Junmyeon breaks out of his trace and flashes a genuine smile. His eyes still look a bit sad but the way they crink at the edge let Jongdae know he's fine and truly amused.

"Kim Jongdae stop being my ideal type, you're way too sarcastic for my brother"

There's a grin on his face and Jongdae notices how they both loosened quickly around each other. Junmyeon's just like that, easy to talk to, friendly and a bit sassy but with that trustworthy vibe that tells you he's one to keep close.

It's funny to hang out because even though Jongdae has known Junmyeon for less than a week, the other keeps picking on him like they've been friend all their lifetime.

And he likes how easily they're falling into this friendship, so he nudges Junmyeon's rib and fakes an annoyed look.

"Remember not to fall in love with me then"

"Don't worry, I own my brother too much to forget our goal"

They spend most of the afternoon talking about this and that, about Minseok and music. Jongdae learns a few anecdotes of Minseok's life that have him coo all along and Junmyeon gagging at the view, they still laugh a lot and talk more till their stomach grumble and Jongdae realizes it's way past lunch time.

He doesn't ask Junmyeon to stay, the man has been kind enough to keep him company for those few hours and Jongdae doesn't want to force him since he has been yawning the entire time like he hadn't slept for a week, still Junmyeon follows him in silence glancing around making quick comments about the trees, people, whatever comes into his vision.

"Let's take a test" He says suddenly stopping in front of an ice cream parlor.

Jongdae isn't sure what kind of test could possibly involve ice cream, but he's all for it. "Okay, let's"

They get in line behind a few kids and couples, Jongdae eying Junmyeon weirdly trying to understand what the other has in mind. Junmyeon looks a bit more relaxed, cap low on his eyes and a warm smile tugging the side of his mouth. It's almost summer, the weather nice and windy and Jongdae finds that moment pleasurable for more than a reason. He almost doesn't care about Minseok ditching him anymore.

When they get close enough to check on the flavors Junmyeon pokes his side and points at the glass counter.

"which is your favorite?"

And Jongdae giggles a bit, very much proud of his choice.

"Vanilla. Yes, I know same as Minseok"

He glances at the other expecting a shocked expression or some kind of remark like 'you're made for each other', but Junmyeon's brows twitch and he sighs softly.

"Not really good"

It is good, Jongdae wants to reply, it's really good that his and Minseok's tastes are so similar but then Junmyeon is grabbing his wrist and pulling him in front of the counter. Jongdae is clingy, his roommate always picks on him about that but this is the second time Jongdae has met Junmyeon and the second time Junmyeon grabbed him like that and it leaves the younger too taken a back to speak.

"I'll show you. Choose yours first" Junmyeon hands a few cash to the owner and waits for his turn in silence.

Jongdae ends up picking vanilla anyway, still confident in his choice and too busy arguing with the other about money and how he can pay for his own ice cream (they settle with the promise Jongdae will offer drinks next time) to remember they're actually doing a test.

"Let's pretend I'm Minseok" Junmyeon finally starts talking waving dangerously his _cookie and cream_ cone. "We're on a date and I just picked your same flavor because, as you said, it's my favorite"

It's not hard to imagine Junmyeon as his brother, there's something in his attitude that makes Jongdae feels thrilled and secure. He looks Junmyeon's way waiting for the boy to do something but the other is only walking straight without any bothers. For a second he wonders if Junmyeon expects him to take the first step, looks for some topic Minseok might like to talk about but then Junmyeon stops and hands out his cone.

"Hold this for me for a moment, will you?"

Jongdae takes it reluctantly, trying to understand the meaning behind but Junmyeon doesn't seem like he's planning something, only fixes his cap and bends to tie his (already tied) shoes. Standing there with two cones Jongdae waits for the other checking that no ice cream melts down his hands.

Vanilla is still his favorite, it's Minseok's favorite too for God's sake, but Jongdae has to admit that the cookie crumbles dripping from Junmyeon's ice cream look yummy and even though they're playing pretend, Junmyeon isn't his brother and Jongdae doesn't have the guts to ask for a try.

"Is it good?" He asks instead when Junmyeon goes back his track taking his ice cream. A small smirk making its way through his face.

"You must know, it's the same as yours. My favorite, remember?"

And then it finally gets to Jongdae. Everything Junmyeon did, why he asked him to hold the cone, letting him focus on it.

"Oh.."

"Now you see why it's not good?"

Junmyeon chuckles a little taking small licks of his ice cream. "Now let's pretend I'm Minseok who just picked this same exact flavor"

He holds out a hand like it's Jongdae's turn to talk, eyebrows high expecting the question that the younger, indeed, asks.

"Can I try it?"

Jongdae feels his cheeks burn, he really fell for Junmyeon's trick like a fool and the other isn't subtle at all while pushing his ice cream under Jongdae's nose with the proudest grin.

It's embarrassing to play Junmyeon's game and if it wasn't for Minseok he would have probably punched the other already just to swipe that smug grin away. Or better, Jongdae feels really shy when he's not in control of the situation. He wanna show he's a good fix for Minseok and not this dumb kid who can't even pick the right ice cream flavor. And then he thinks that he's making a scene out of ice cream and feels even more stupid.

Junmyeon forces him to actually take a lick of the ice cream and looks so satisfied right after, like he just accomplished his life's mission.

"Here" He says next locking eyes with Jongdae. "Indirect kiss"

Jongdae almost chokes on his spit while the other pokes his nose with the tip of the ice cream laughing loud at the reaction. "This is something Minseok would totally say"

Junmyeon is still laughing when Jongdae smacks him on the shoulder and takes revenge smudging a good amount of vanilla on his cheek.

\- - -

from: **_emergency only!!_**

* / _today was fun_

* / _come over my place next sunday, at 5pm_

* / _bring an extra sweater_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reaching the end, to whoever commented (arghh i suck at replying) and/or left kudos ♥  
yes i focused an entire chapter on ice cream, i'm so lame  
what do you think is the extra sweater for??
> 
> forgot to mention before that as everyone has probably noticed, english isn't my first language *finger guns*


	3. the sweater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jongdae gets even more competitive

Next Sunday Jongdae is driving to Minseok and Junmyeon's place completely oblivious of the latter's plan. He has tried to ask but Junmyeon replied that less he knew the more natural he would act.

When he rings the bell, a black sweater tucked under his arm, Minseok is visibly surprised to see him but always the kind impeccable host he greets Jongdae with a smile and an arm around his shoulder.

"What are you doing here?"

Right, what is he doing there?

He has no excuse to be in Minseok's apartment at 5pm on a Sunday afternoon with nothing but a useless sweater that he still has no idea what's for. Damn Junmyeon and his secret plans.

"I'm-"

"Hey kid, you came"

Junmyeon appears suddenly, strapping a bag on his shoulders and diving for his shoes scattered on the entrance. He looks in a hurry, already has a hand on the doorknob when he reaches out for Jongdae's sweater.

"Thanks for this, you didn't have to come all the way here just for it"

Jongdae keeps silent and forces a small smile, a bit uncomfortable since he has yet to figure what the other is doing. _You will act more natural my ass_.

"You two know each other?" Minseok asks surprised, but his brother is quick to act along.

"At your congratulatory party, remember?"

"And you landed him a sweater during an indoor party?"

Junmyeon flinches a bit shaken for his older brother's remark, he definitely didn't planned to be questioned back. On the other hand, Jongdae finally understands small bits of the former plan, enough to note down to never trust Junmyeon's ideas anymore. He still feels brave enough to jump into the conversation.

"Ah, we met accidentally last week. It was raining and I didn't have an umbrella so.."

With the corner of his eye he sees Junmyeon shaking his head with imploring eyes, like Jongdae's just chosen the worst excuse ever and in fact Minseok lifts an eyebrow in suspicion.

"It hasn't rained this past week"

And here Junmyeon is giving him the _stop-talking_ look just for Jongdae to shoot back with his _you-should-have-told-me-the-plan_ one. Minseok seems to be pondering about it but then he decides that it's not so relevant and invites his younger coworker inside the apartment. Junmyeon leaves right after saying he's late for work and Jongdae double notes to not trust his plans ever again.

"My girlfriend dumped me for some dress tryouts or something like that. I was about to watch a movie, wanna join?"

It's been his dream since forever to be alone with Minseok doing normal things couples do but he can't be too obvious so he weakly refuses the offer saying he doesn't want to bother on a day off. Of course Minseok insists and that's how Jongdae finds himself sitting on the couch ten minutes later with a beer in one hand and his friend's thigh pressing against his hoping the thumping of his heart isn't so loud as it sounds to him.

Minseok's chugging down beer after beer, he has always been a good drinker but he also keeps shoving cans Jongdae's way and he doesn't want to get drunk nor refuse since the other looks so happy to have a drink buddy. The more they drink the clingier Minseok becomes, leaning on Jongdae's shoulder and blabbing some quotes from the movie he apparently watched so many times already. He's not drunk, just tipsy enough to laugh for very non-laughable scenes.

Half and an hour into the movie and Jongdae is pretty focused on an action scene when Minseok lays his head on the younger's shoulder, smiling satisfied.

"You know, I always wanted to get closer to you. You make me feel so comfortable"

Once again Jongdae feels his heart about to burst out but keeps quiet and pretends to watch the movie. There's something that's still bothering him though, even with his crush clung against his arm, even after Minseok told him he feels comfortable with him.. Jongdae can't help but think about junmyeon's words.

Is it true after all? Is Minseok actually happy?

Sitting beside him his friend looks so pacific and relaxed but does his girlfriend make him feel like this too? Minseok's fiancée could be back anytime now and jongdae knows that if he wants answers he would better ask now. He's so unsure of what to say, how far he can risk to go. But he needs to know, needs to be sure if it's okay to pursue his wants. If he really has a chance with Minseok.

"Are you scared?" Jongdae asks in the end, deciding to start with the harmless question. In response Minseok burps and tilts his head back on the couch, inhaling deeply.

"Not really. She's good to me and her feelings are genuine"

Her feelings are genuine. It doesn't mean Minseok's own are as well.

But again Jongdae doesn't know if he's just seeing things and as much as he's trying to play it cool, it's not enough. He needs more.

And so he asks more.

"Why did you propose?" He blurts out lowering his gaze and avoiding any possible eye-contact.

"I didn't"

Jongdae freezes in shock. That's not what he expected at all.

Minseok is casually waving a hand in front of him trying to dismiss the topic quickly if the slight blush on his cheeks is a sign and of course the man isn't fully sober, but he's also not so tipsy to start blabbering nonsense.

"She wanted it enough to ask first. We talked about it and I found no reason to decline, so I said yes."

Jongdae shakes his head, tries to get rid of delusional thoughts wavering into his mind. He hates this, hates that Minseok isn't giving a proper reply. He's getting married and still acts like he's doing it because 'why not'. And that brings them back to junmyeon's speech: Minseok's not happy, just okay.

Minseok chuckles a bit seeing his friend's face and Jongdae realizes he must be grimacing because the other is mocking him and shoving another beer into his hands.

He actually wants to laugh it off, to slap Minseok's chest and be a supportive friend. He can't, because this is so different from what he expected. Junmyeon is as crazy as his ideas, and in Jongdae's mind he had always thought their deal was supposed to flop but this.. This is different, this means Junmyeon is not crazy and that he's getting the tiniest bit closer to his goal.

"Don't get me wrong Jongdae. I love her, I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with her. And if it is what she wants, I'm willing to take this step"

It's so wrong, Junmyeon had warned him about his brother's total lack of selfishness but this is his life and he's about to take a very important decision based on his fiancée's wishes only.

"But what do you want?" Jongdae asks, slightly annoyed about his friend being so pliant to anyone's desires but his.

The other takes another sip from the can, eyes unfocused while he ponders the question. Minseok isn't mad, that much Jongdae can tell, but he looks somehow tired, exhausted, like he already thought about that for a long time and still hasn't found an answer.

"I don't think getting married or not will change what I feel. It's not a burden, nor a necessity"

Jongdae doesn't point out how Minseok's being too vague or how he's only convincing the younger that breaking the engagement is actually the best choice for Minseok's own good.

But that's the point, it's Minseok's life. He should do whatever he wants.

"You know what?" Minseok suddenly shoot up stretching and pausing the movie. "I still don't have a best man. I thought I didn't need one but I want you next to me Jongdae"

And that is enough for Jongdae to feel his stomach constrict and his ears burn and, oh God, Minseok is so handsome dressed in a large hoodie and sweatpants he immediately lose his voice.

_Next to him._

Minseok wants him close, to stand beside him. It's all getting worse, his mind can't stop processing those words and no matter if the man had meant them in another way, you don't simply ask anyone to be your best man, to stand next to you.

Jongdae's mouth is still open trying to formulate an actual sentence and he's so close to blurt out that he'll always be next to him, can't possibly stay apart when Minseok coughs and scratches his nape.

"I mean, during the wedding, of course."

Jongdae's cheeks are already on fire so he just nods and thinks of how proud Junmyeon would be of his improvements. Or maybe he would slap him for being so dumb, telling him he should be the groom and not the best man. Well, one step at a time.

It's when Minseok's fiancée comes back that Jongdae begins to feel out of place. His friend runs to the girl to greet her with a kiss on her lips, helping with the bags in her hands. It's so domestic, so casual that Jongdae adverts his eyes from the couple and gathers beer cans on the small table in front of the couch trying to find something he can keep busy with. He hears them talking, about a dress, the ceremony, simply their things and a pang of guilt starts rising in Jongdae's chest. What he's doing, intruding in their life, will forever psychologically bother him.

And still he can't help but listen, focused on capturing any useful sign or word that could give him an advantage later on the plan. Oh gosh, he's a monster.

In the end Minseok asks him to stay for dinner but Jongdae doesn't want to third wheel when he's pretty sure he can convince the other to a date alone just the two of them. Maybe in a week or two he'll ask Minseok out, making it look like a simple outing to plan his new role as Minseok's best man.

While he jumps into his car, half an hour later, Jongdae grabs his phone without thinking much about it.

To: **_emergency only!!_**

/ _it went well!!!!_

And again.

To: **_emergency only!!_**

/_ Your plans suck. I'll never trust you again._

/_ but thank you_

/_ He asked me to be his best man, I'm excited!_

Seeing as the messages aren't being read he settles the phone aside, then changes idea and sends one more.

To: **_emergency only!!_**

/ _And take care of my sweater! It's my favorite!!!!!!_

Junmyeon's reply comes ten minutes later. It's a simple text, but it makes Jongdae blush and bang his head on the wheel.

From: **_emergency only!!_**

* / _ nice job. Best man today, best boy tomorrow ;)_

Jongdae wants to reply with a sarcastic catch phrase he read on his sns but then he thinks that Junmyeon might find this exchange a little forced. After all he still has to figure out what their relationship means. Are they even friends?

And most of all he's been inside his car for a good ten minutes and he only hopes Minseok isn't checking from the window or he'd surely think he's a creep.

When he starts the car and takes the way home, he finds that he can't stop smiling. His heart is a bit more full.

It's past 3am and Jongdae can't sleep. He's tossing and turning nonstop despite the apparently miraculous herbal tea yixing brew him a couple of hours ago. His mind is full of thoughts and memories just like the warm touch of Minseok cheek against his shoulder or his sweet voice saying that he wanted to be closer with jongdae. It's annoying, actually, because Jongdae has never been like this, never been the kind of guy who dives head first into his own fantasies to the point where he can't even sleep and most of all he has work the next morning and he can't possibly fall asleep on the keyboard.

It's past 3am even for the person who decides to text him that right moment making the guy turn his head curious on just who thinks that's a good hour to start a conversation and in all honesty any other day Jongdae would ignore it, but he's awake and can't seem he'll be sleeping soon so he picks up the phone and checks his unread _KKT_ messages.

From: **_emergency only!!_**

* /_ Sorry for the quick reply, was busy. Are you awake?_

* /_ Ahaha probably not, I'm dumb. Goodnight!_

Jongdae doesn't question what Junmyeon is doing awake in the middle of the night, he vaguely remembers the guy saying something about work before sprinting out the door back at his and Minseok's place, he's just glad someone else seems to have trouble sleeping.

He sits up on the bed and switches the bed side lamp on.

To: **_emergency only!!_**

/_ I am indeed still up_

_From: **_emergency only!!_** _

* / _Crazy! Go to bed!_

To: **_emergency only!!_**

/ _Can't sleep _:_/_

And once again it's so easy to talk with Junmyeon, not once he has to look for the right answer or weight words. His fingers text back in autopilot.

From: **_emergency only!!_**

* /_ Give me your address, I'll return your sweater if you're not planning to sleep._

To: **_emergency only!!_**

/ _Now??_

From: **_emergency only!!_**

* / _quick trip before heading home_

To: **_emergency only!!_**

/ _You're out? At this hour?_

From: **_emergency only!!_**

* / _Had something to do_

And really, it's not Jongdae's business, so he doesn't ask. He just gives Junmyeon the address and put an old hoodie over his pajamas.

He's careful not to do any sound as it would be hard to explain to Yixing why he's going out at almost 4am (Jongdae has told him about the plan to get into Minseok's pants and the guy has shaked his head in disapproval) and waits for Junmyeon to text him he's arrived.

When he gets down, Jongdae's welcomed by the sight of Junmyeon lazily leaning on his car and scrolling through his phone.

"Yo, kid"

He greets him, throwing Jongdae's sweater at his right owner with no much care.

Junmyeon is still wearing an ugly baseball cap, but this time there's no quote on it but a little printed music note. Jongdae is about to point out how it's pretty dark outside to wear a cap when the other opens his car door and invites the younger to jump in the passenger seat.

Summer is close, but during the night the weather is still chilly so Jongdae appreciate Junmyeon's effort to keep the both of them warm into the car. A very nice car, he has to admit.

"So," Junmyeon begins, too busy to connect the car speakers with his phone to look at the younger. "Best man, huh?"

Jongdae doesn't fail to notice how the first song Junmyeon plays is Red Flavor, the same he requested during their trip at the park.

"Yes, he told me he wants to be closer to me. And that he wants me next to him during the wedding"

There's a whistle on Junmyeon's side, a small sign of approval that makes Jongdae feel even more proud of the steps he took. He had expected something more, a bigger compliment, but it's late and Junmyeon looks tired just as him.

"What were you doing out at this time?" Jongdae suddenly asks and it takes him aback as well, because he still believes he has no right to be nosy about Junmyeon's private life but he also feels like he can loosen up more around this guy who doesn't seem to mind any question thrown at him.

Just that this time Junmyeon smirks a bit and relaxes into the driver seat, closing his eyes.

"If I told you then I'd have to kill you"

And it's okay if the man doesn't want to open up so soon, but it only makes Jongdae want to know him better, to find out all his secrets and make Junmyeon trust him. It's ridiculous given the small time spent together, but Jongdae feels he wants Junmyeon to consider him a friend.

They spend the next half an hour talking about Minseok and what Jongdae had learnt during the afternoon, they exchange tips and ideas on the plan, laugh about Junmyeon's obsession over girl groups and the time flies so quickly Jongdae doesn't even realize the time while he's still crouching on Junmyeon's car seat.

He's picking on Junmyeon for drinking an orange juice carton from its tiny straw (_who's the kid now?_, he asks) when he finally glances at the hour on the digital clock and jumps in shock bumping his head on the car roof.

It's morning. It's fucking early morning, he has work in a few hours and he hasn't sleep at all.

Junmyeon laughs at him for his panic state and Jongdae drags the guy's cap down his face as a punishment, struggling to get out of the seat with wobbling legs that have stayed still for too long.

"Don't you have work too? Go home!" Jongdae shouts annoyed at Junmyeon's mocks, but the latter only put his index in front of his mouth, pretending to seal an invisible zipper and rushing him into his apartment. Again, Jongdae doesn't push but feels intrigued, note down to ask again in the future, when Junmyeon will be more comfortable to talk about himself.

"Thank you, by the way. For this" The younger says barely lifting his sweater. Junmyeon nods and starts the car with a wink.

It's when Jongdae is halfway up the apartment landing that a honk makes him turn toward the street, and there Junmyeon has pulled down the window and is showing that characteristic grin of his.

"Hey kid! You can call me hyung if you want"

Jongdae feels his stomach rumble in satisfaction. Maybe, just maybe, Junmyeon wants to be his friend too. He shakes his head faking an exasperated look and gives Junmyeon the middle finger, making the other burst in laugher.

It's really, really late to still be up, or maybe too early to be awake. Jongdae is too tired to think properly, he's considering taking a day off from work but then remembers that Minseok will probably expect to see him in the office.

He's not lucky enough to avoid Yixing coming out his room in that moment with hair ruffled and sleepy eyes. His roommate works as a nurse in the nearest hospital so it's not unusual to see him up at very ungodly hours during the week.

"Really, Jongdae? On a Sunday?" Yixing gives him the stink eye, probably hearing him coming back home just then. His sleepy chinese accent makes it all too adorable to take him too seriously. Jongdae just shrugs it off.

"I was with Junmyeon. Minseok's brother, you know"

But Yixing only deepens his stare.

"Really, Jongdae? With Junmyeon? Minseok's brother? At 5am?"

"Shut up and get ready"

Jongdae finally retires inside his room collapsing on the mattress, missing the pillow and setting the alarm in two hours, whining at the mere thought of having to get up so soon.

He's too tired to move at all, so he just use the sweater Junmyeon returned as a pillow and rubs his nose inside it to find a bit more comfort. The sweater has a particular scent, something that reminds Jongdae of Minseok's place and Junmyeon's car, mostly Junmyeon's. It's nice, not too strong, familiar.

And Jongdae finds it easy to fall asleep on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to thank all the amazing people who commented in the previous chapter, you made my week and helped me find the inspiration to keep writing ♥ and of course i send kisses to everyone who left kudos!  
and.. surprise! the sweater didn't really have a main point on the story lmao i'm just bad at writing end notes :*


	4. the cake tasting

Work is a lot funnier when Minseok comes around Jongdae's desk almost every day, always bringing a cup of coffee or a snack to offer. They laugh a lot, make funny jokes about other co workers till the point where Minseok gets scolded by their own boss for spending too much time out of his office. Jongdae is happy, no doubts, and it gets even better when Minseok goes to him on Friday afternoon right before leaving, scraping his head and daring a timid smile.

"We're having trouble choosing the cake. Would you mind help us?"

Jongdae doesn't like the prospect to spend time with Minseok and his fiancée just to be reminded how alone he actually is and that no matter how nicer Minseok has begun, he still belongs to someone else. For now. But, despite the uneasy feeling at the bottom of his chest and what he knows will be the most awkward meeting of his life, cake is free and Minseok promises he will take Jongdae out to dinner to thank him. And he can't obviously miss the chance to go out alone with his crush.

The day of the cake tasting Jongdae is waiting for Minseok to pick him up from home, still unsure if the white shirt he's wearing is too formal or the jeans too informal. He only knows Yixing is a bitch and is laughing his ass off seeing his flat mate panicking.

"It's not even a date" Says the bitch, munching on a bowl of cereals despite all the times Jongdae told him to eat proper meals. And it may be true but Jongdae doesn't care when he has the chance to feed Minseok cake straight from his fork. Date or not, that's all he wants in life.

What he hadn't expected, is to find Junmyeon on the back seat of Minseok's car, earbuds plugged deep into his ears and a smug grin like he can read Jongdae's surprise on his face.

"I hope you don't mind if my brother tags along, we need all the possible help" Minseok smiles starting the engine.

Junmyeon is looking at him from under another hideous yellow cap with the caption _'volume up'_ that would look illegal on anyone else, takes off a bud and mouths "hi kid". Brat.

He's glad Junmyeon's there though, Minseok isn't the only one who needs help and his presence makes Jongdae feel more secure and less awkward. He hasn't had the chance to properly introduce himself to Minseok's fiancée but Junmyeon seems to know her too well and that is going to help them a lot. As if reading his mind, the girl reaches out for Minseok's tigh and squeezes it affectionately, catching Jongdae's attention and making him feel guilty and jealous. Minseok doesn't take his hand off the wheel to squeeze back like Jongdae had expected, but the man turns a bit to smile and he looks content, grateful for that gesture.

Jongdae wants to ignore them, to give the two lovers some privacy but he can't help but imagine what it would be if he was in the girl's place. Maybe she deserves Minseok more than him after all.

He doesn't see Junmyeon getting closer, but he does feel the pain when the other pinches his side, making him jump in shock. He turns suddenly ready to fight back.

But once again Junmyeon isn't just playing with him, he can see Minseok watching them bicker with an amused grin from the front mirror and his girlfriend has taken the hand off him, now busy checking what's happening behind her. It's a nice move, he has to admit and he can't stop thinking Junmyeon did it for him too, to distract him. This is how thoughtful he is and Jongdae doesn't smack his head as a thank you.

"Watch out for revenge, hyung" He says playfully, surprised at how easily the word 'hyung' rolled on his tongue when thinking about the boy. It's not awkward though, and Junmyeon is the one who gave him permission so Jongdae shrugs it off and pretends to tickle the boy stealing one of his earbuds.

Junmyeon is listening to a song he doesn't recognize, but it's nice and relaxing and definitely better than the soft nagging of the other that's trying to take the bud back. Jongdae still gets to keep it in the end.

"I didn't know you two were this close" Minseok's comment comes suddenly, a bit whiney, quick glances stolen from the front mirror. "Should I be jealous? Jongdae is a precious friend of mine"

_A precious friend. Jealous._

It takes a moment for the warm feeling to spread to Jongdae's ears. Of course he's embarrassed, but also happy and a bit excited that his crush sees him as someone precious, someone to keep. He holds in a smile and looks towards Junmyeon who's giving him a thumb up.

"Don't worry, you're still my favorite Minseok hyung" And, yes, maybe it's a bit cheesy but Minseok seems happy with it and that's all that matters.

The location where the cake tasting has place is all white and cream, with flowers adorning the _shabby chic_ forniture and a big table in the middle with various colorful sweets and treats.

Minseok's fiancée looks ecstatic, pointing to every small piece of cake that is placed in front of them. Silver pearls, sugary flowers, edible confetti.. Jongdae has never seen so many different and elegant cakes that he almost thinks it's a pity to eat them. The pastry chef is kind enough to indulge any of the couple's request, listing each ingredient to satisfy their curiosity and scribbling some notes in the meantime. Jongdae is also able to feed Minseok a couple of times, is fed by the man once and his belly dances wildly when Junmyeon suggests to smash a bit of cake on his cheek and Minseok later shakes his head and helps him clean it.

All the sugar intake isn't doing Jongdae good, he's feeling slightly light headed and for a second he forgets that the wedding he's planning isn't actually his.

"Jongdae, here!" Minseok is walking up to him with a new paper plate and a slice of cake standing on it. Jongdae has been discussing with Junmyeon about how he should take the chance and engage Minseok on a cake date with just the two of them but they stop immediately when seeing the elder approach. "I thought you would like this the best. I don't know why, but it just says 'hey Jongdae, eat me!'"

On the plate there's a small slice of cake filled with chocolate cream and frost. It looks yummy, no doubts, but Jongdae has already eaten a lot and only a small space is left and to be honest he'd eyed a lemon cake with vanilla filling that is just right for his taste. He doesn't want to refuse Minseok's offer though, he could never disappoint the other so he accepts the plate with a warm smile, happy that his crush thinks about him in such situations when his own fiancée is with him.

There's a moment of hesitation and then he lifts the fork. But the cake never reaches his mouth because Junmyeon is pulling at his arm and changes direction letting the fork fall in between his lips.

"Perfect" He declares sticking his tongue out to lick at some frost "This is my favorite"

Jongdae is left dumbfounded, fork mid-air and brows furrowed trying to analyze Junmyeon's action even though he can't find a reason for him to do that. Despite Minseok is now widening his eyes and smacking Junmyeon's shoulder.

"That was the cake I personally chose for Jongdae, you're so greedy!"

It's impossible for Jongdae not to blush a bit seeing Minseok shaking his brother's sweater like he's actually mad (he clearly isn't), he feels so important whenever his friend shows the smallest sign to care for him. He looks at the cake still lying on the plate and can't help a small smile.

"Oh c'mon, you're an awful friend. You don't even know Jongdae likes vanilla the most" Junmyeon is finally able to escape his brother's clamp and his reaching for another plate on the table, picking it up and handing it to Jongdae with such confidence the latter is once again taken aback. Not only Junmyeon remembers his favorite flavor, he has also picked the lemon cake he wanted to try.

Minseok is looking at him expectantly, like he wants to confirm his brother's words and the last thing Jongdae wants is to make him feel bad but his stomach is quicker than his brain when he dives for the plate in Junmyeon's hands and releases a soft satisfied noise. May Lord forgive him, but the taste is divine.

"Sorry hyung" Jongdae replies chewing on the fork a bit embarrassed "but this is the best we've had until now, you should really give it a try"

"I knew it!" Junmyeon laughs in victory and proceeds to swap plate with Jongdae. He doesn't seem to be following a plan, this time Jongdae can see how he's simply doing what he wants without a second purpose. His smile is genuine, all his features relaxed and Jongdae wonders how the guy managed to guess his favorite among all those cakes.

It's only a flash but it thrills him that Junmyeon might know him this much already, when they barely started to get to know each other.

Soon the cake is gone and Junmyeon is busy telling a bad joke about weddings trying to lick off a chocolate spot on his cheek. Jongdae scans the place for a napkin but finds Minseok's eyes on him instead.

No, not on him. On _them_.

The older guy is prodding at a meringue on his plate staring back and forth between him and Junmyeon with a weird look on his face. He probably hasn't noticed Jongdae glancing back, he's so focused on _something_ he doesn't even spare a glance at his fiancée when she places a hand on his arm.

"Hyung? You alright?" Jongdae tries to ask seeing his crush finally adverting his eyes and pretending he wasn't staring.

He can't understand. Is Minseok perhaps.. jealous? It can't be only because he choose a different cake flavor, right?

"Ah- nothing. It's" Junmyeon turns to his brother and the elder suddenly is all smiles again. "Ahh it's stupid, just the fork you both used. It's an indirect kiss"

Jongdae's eyes flicks to Junmyeon on instinct, recalling what happened at the park with the ice cream and seeing the other do the same they burst laughing. In the end Junmyeon was right, he really knows his brother well.

As they all laugh it out, Jongdae throws one last look at his friend. Minseok definitely made up an excuse but Jongdae can't quite argue that, not when he's probably seeing things he simply wanna see. But he can swear the man looks different now. More careful, on alert.

An hour later they're ready to leave with a full stomach and a sketch of how the chosen cake will turn out. Minseok's fiancée excuse herself first to attend a meeting with some friends, while Junmyeon is grabbing a taxi to work reassuring his brother that this Jongin-guy will give him a ride back home.

Which reminds Jongdae that he has still no idea what Junmyeon does for a living, nor why is he heading to work at past 6pm. Is he a waiter? A doctor?

Junmyeon leaves with a wave at his brother and a wink at Jongdae, making the latter roll his eyes and scoff. And that's how Jongdae ends up in a BBQ restaurant just he and Minseok, trying very hard to control his inner will to call it a date and swallowing his panic drinking _somaek_ like it's water.

Minseok is grilling some meat, careful and expert but Jongdae can see the man stealing some glances now and then. He still look suspicious and there's a glint in his eyes that makes Jongdae thinks he's keeping a question for himself.

It comes while Jongdae is fixing another round of drinks, totally unexpected and a bit soar since Minseok has drunk several shots now.

"Do you like someone at the moment?"

Minseok chews on a piece of meat feigning innocence, like the question is no big deal but Jongdae is burning inside. Does he know? Is he suspecting something?

The younger takes his time sipping his drink, trying to decide for the best answer. He could be honest and Minseok will then surely ask for a name or an hint on who's his crush. Or he could lie and dig his own grave turning Minseok down in case the man even remotely feels something for him.

He doesn't get to answer though, because Minseok grins and feeds Jongdae a thick meat and vegetables roll.

"Your silence is enough. No need for an explanation, but if you ever feel like speaking with someone just know that I'm here"

After that Jongdae goes on full panic mode. He tries to understand if Minseok has indeed found out his plan or if he suspects him, the guy is so calm and smiley it's impossible to guess. On the other hand Jongdae is dying to know why the other asked, but since Minseok has been respectful enough to not shower him with questions, he feels like doing the same.

His heart is beating non-stop and his friend keeps feeding him like a gross boyfriend would do and that's making him even more confused, to the point where he has to text Junmyeon secretly to seek for advices. When after 15 minutes he doesn't get a reply and the conversation turns into an awkward silence (probably Jongdae's fault since he keeps looking at his phone and is not really paying attention at his surroundings), Jongdae remembers that Junmyeon said he had work that night and that means he's left alone. Minseok's started humming some tune to fill the silence and so Jongdae clears his voice and puts another slice of _samgyupsal_ on the grill deciding to change subject.

"So" He looks for an harmless question and comes up with something he really is curious about "Your brother said he works tonight. What does he do?"

He throws the question with nonchalance sure that his friend wouldn't care much about it. Instead Minseok stills for a second, looking up and right into Jongdae's eyes, the same look he has sported earlier at the pastry shop. His mouth is shut but the way his eyes crinks a bit on the edge makes him seem like he's smirking or something. It's beautiful, charming and intriguing.

"Junmyeonie hasn't told you?"

Jongdae shakes his head, notes in his mind to mock Junmyeon for the nickname and watches as Minseok furrows his eyebrows in very an amused way.

"Well then I can't spoil the surprise"

It's been a few times already that he has tried to find out what's Junmyeon's job and it seems like no one wants to tell him. He writes another text to Junmyeon to joke about it but Minseok suddenly asks if he's texting his brother and, well, it's embarrassing for some reason, Jongdae doesn't want the other to know how much he's been talking to Junmyeon and most of all for what, so he deletes the message and throws Minseok a crinkled napkin trying hard to make him laugh and forget the subject.

They eat more and drink more and when Minseok offers to pay for both it's final for Jongdae to call it a date. He feels light but full at the same time, his mouth is stretched in a constant blissful smile till they reach Jongdae's apartment and the latter knows the magic is about to disappear. A few more minutes and he'll have to go back to the reality where Minseok isn't his.

"One last thing" Minseok stops him before Jongdae can slip out the car. He's so similar to his brother, the way they grab the steering wheel with both hands when the engine is off, how their smile reach their eyes but with a hint of mischievous in them. He can't stop remembering the night in Junmyeon's car and the thought makes Jongdae jittery inside. What if Minseok asks him to stay?

"Yes?" Jongdae asks almost out of breath.

"There's a radio station called_ 'Peter Pan FM'_. It's pretty popular among young people"

It's a bit out of the blue but Jongdae nods. "Yeah, I know it"

"Well, the night show has a corner called _'Silly Love Songs'_ and I'd like you to listen to it one of these nights. It's good, I highly recommend it"

The mere thought Minseok told him about the radio because he wants to dedicate him a silly love song is enough to have his heart pound so hard he's afraid the other would sense it. He feels his ears turning hot and doesn't trust his voice in that moment so he nods again and waves goodbye.

As Minseok drives away, Jongdae skips inside his apartment with a dreamy expression Yixing doesn't miss. But he has no time for his roommate's jokes, he needs to find his old ipod and look for the right station. If Minseok expects him to listen to silly love songs all night, then be it.

He's so sure the show is a whole compilation of love songs that when he finally catches the right channel and the voice of a guy fills his ears, he's almost disappointed.

He changes into his pajamas and brushes his teeth while listening to this person talk about a specific concern a listener has sent. A love song is also played in the middle of the talk but it stops mid-songs and the talk is resumed with the speaker putting a lot of effort into giving love-related advices to the previous listener. A few minutes into the show and it's clear that the corner is specifically made for listeners to send their request or concerns about all kind of love-issues. It's indeed silly and the songs seems nice but Jongdae doesn't understand why Minseok wanted him to listen to it.

"... _and that's why my dear _dalgi99_ I think your problem is the lack of self confidence. You can do it, I believe in you!_" The speaker ends his speech clapping from the other ends of the line. "_Now we can read a few more concerns so text us yours at the usual number. Suho is back from his pause and can't wait to help couples from all over South Korea!_"

There's a chuckle from a second person suddenly, a voice Jongdae could swear he knows and he immediately pushes up on his elbow to listen to it better.

_"Thanks Kai for taking over, but now we have to help _missmoon0_-ssi who wrote us this text"_

It's impossible not to recognize that voice, it's so familiar, so weird when it resounds from his headphones. Jongdae slaps a hand on his mouth keeping a laugh inside. It's Junmyeon, it's definitely him.

He falls back on the bed closing his eyes and focusing on Junmyeon's (or by his alias Suho's) voice. It's nice, vibrating softly inside his ear, one of those voice you would like to listen during a long night trip and Jongdae slowly discovers all the colors behind Junmyeon's radio characters. The most he listen to Suho and Kai, the more he understands why they're running the late night show. It's almost appealing the way Junmyeon hums along with the end of every song, how the two speakers take the conselours job very seriously and are able to convey incredibly good advices. It shows how much they put into the show. And the playlist is good too! Junmyeon wasn't lying when he said he and Jongdae have similar tastes.

_"I believe Kai agrees with me when I say that in a relationship there has to be honesty in first place"_

_"Right"_

_"You're scared to lose him but it will make you both suffer more if you keep lying"_

So there's a reason why Junmyeon understands people so well, why he wants his brother to express himself and live freely. He's been doing this for work for who knows how much and Minseok's wedding must be a huge concern for Junmyeon considering that he's used to take care of issues of people he doesn't even know.

The night is spent rolling on the bed giggling and muffling weird noises on the pillow. When Suho announces the last song, Jongdae realizes it's early morning but he does not regret staying up, in fact he goes through the whole last song nodding at the good pick and waits till he hears the ending jingle.

He finds he's excited at the newfound information. The first thing he wants to do is text Junmyeon to maybe pick on him first and then congratulate, but he can imagine how tired the boy must be and after all Junmyeon has tried to keep his job hidden so Jongdae decides to pretend he doesn't know for a little bit longer.

At the same time, he's too thrilled to sleep so he plays one of Suho's recommendations he particularly liked on his ipod and promises he'll listen to Junmyeon's radio every time he has a chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> regular updates? never heard of those  
(but thank you for all the support, i'll never get tired of telling this)


	5. the club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> minseok has a gift to give, junmyeon can't dance (nor can jongdae)

From: **_emergency only!!_**

* / _come to my place_

* / _minseok wanna tell us smt_

It's Junmyeon who opens the door when he gets to Minseok's place, dripping droplets from his hair and wearing some baggy sweatpants that, once again, would only suit him.

He's dying to tell the guy that he found out about his job but he can't decide when's the right moment.

"Hi" Jongdae says with his voice cracking a bit for the hidden excitement.

"Hello to you. You dressed up" The other is checking him out from head to toe, welcoming the sight of a well ironed shirt with a weird mocking smile. "Wanted to impress me?"

Jongdae fakes a sorrowful face placing a hand upon his heart "I'm sorry dear, hasn't anyone told you I pine for the older brother?"

And it's so ridiculous yet they both play along, with ease and comfort since Minseok is nowhere to be seen. Jongdae feels the need to slap Junmyeon on the shoulder and tickle him to the ground because he's so silly and flirty and he makes Jongdae want to roll his eyes and never let him knows he's quite funny.

But Jongdae is quite funny too and so he smacks his lips together and says "Besides, if I wanted to impress you I'd come naked"

Junmyeon lets him inside the apartment with a snicker, drags his slippers annoyingly while leading the way.

"It's scary how much that's true"

The younger makes no comment to that because suddenly Minseok appears in front of him with thick oven mitts on his hands and a cute red apron tied around his back. He's smiling as usual, but this time there's a particular glee in his eyes, something so pure it melts Jongdae's heart right on the spot. Minseok is so happy to have Jongdae over and Jongdae is so happy to see his hyung, considers to run to him and kiss his cheeks just to make sure they're so soft as they look until he remembers Junmyeon is there too and he can't embarrass himself in front of the boy.

"You're here! Thank you for coming!" exclaims Minseok waving a spatula in his direction. The man smells like curry and other spices and his apron is dotted with reddish spots and a big burned hole in the middle. He's still as handsome as always and Jongdae can't miss a chance so he walks up to him to steal a quick hug.

If Minseok finds the action weird, he doesn't say it out loud and pats the other's back friendly.

Minseok's embrace is warm and strong, Jongdae doesn't care that they may be hugging for too long now or that Junmyeon is pretending to gag on air, he feels accomplished for a moment and forgets they're not alone in the room until he hears someone whistle.

"What a long hug hyung, you must be very happy to see Jongdae"

Junmyeon is fixing his wet hair sending knowing glances to his brother who immediately escapes the hug with a nervous chuckle.

"I am indeed, I'm happy you could make it Jongdae because I need to tell you something"

The sound of something boiling in a pot is all Jongdae hears for a few seconds while Minseok collect his confidence and wipes his hands on the apron nervously. Junmyeon is splayed on a chair beside him, apparently bored but Jongdae can tell the guy is also waiting for his brother to continue his line.

"Wait here, okay?"

In a moment Minseok is out of sight, dashing through the apartment and leaving the two younger boys speechless and waiting. Junmyeon lifts a brow in Jongdae's direction, as to ask the other if he knew what's going on but Jongdae is just as clueless and, to tell the truth, a bit scared.

It's not every day that Kim Minseok invites you over on a specific day where his fiancée isn't around to talk to you.

Jongdae rubs his palms together in anticipation, feels the need to roll up his sleeves and Junmyeon must sense his stress because soon there's a warm hand smoothing at his thigh.

"Relax, I'm sure it's nothing"

It's easy not to worry when you're blood related to Minseok and he would probably forgive you even if he had to find out you're interfering his wedding, but Jongdae has all the reasons to worry.

_Maybe he knows. Maybe Minseok thinks I'm a weirdo trying to sabotage his happiness._

But then his friend is coming back with hands hidden behind his back and despite Jongdae’s first thought is of Minseok kneeled in a proposal, he's clear enough to not be disappointed when the man extends his arms giving both him and Junmyeon a small polished box.

"A gift? For us?" asks Junmyeon skeptical.

Jongdae, for his part, is too curious to wait for a reply and opens the box revealing a dark burgundy fabric with refined golden seams that looks suspiciously like...

"A tie?" He blurts out confused.

Minseok clasps his hands together, eyes gleaming enthusiastically while he takes the tie from his brother's box and untangles it.

"I know we said the ceremony is going to be simple and we didn't really settled for best men and braidsmaids outfits, but.. you two are different. I want others to look at you and know that you're the ones I care for the most"

Jongdae sees Minseok blinking a few times to prevent a few tears from falling and that's bad cause if Minseok gets emotional, then Jongdae is too. "Brother, you're always beside me, you're always where I need you to be. You're my counselor, my best friend, the one I trust no matter what"

The smile Junmyeon returns is a painful one, full of guilt and regret but also determined to hide the plan Jongdae suddenly doesn't want to acknowledge anymore, not when Minseok is probably about to say a bunch of good comments about him too.

"And you, Jongdae, my dear friend. I've never expected to grow so close to you. You helped me so much in these last weeks, treated me like your own brother.. ahh, I feel like you're now part of my family too"

Jongdae forces a smile, gulping down the thick lump formed in his throat. He whispers a feeble "thank you" focusing on the tie in his hand rather than the heavy feeling in his chest. He doesn't deserve Minseok and he'll probably go to hell.

"Please say something before I start wailing like a baby"

Junmyeon is the first to recover, always the one to know how to respond, how to handle the situation. The boy stands up and pulls his brother against him in a tight hug.

"I love you, I'd do anything for your happiness" It's simple, yet Junmyeon is once again the smart ass of the plan, reminding Jongdae why they're doing all of this.

Somehow Jongdae ends up tangled against Minseok's body, courtesy of Junmyeon, patting his back and holding back his own tears because his friend is too cute and kind and Jongdae wants to give him the world.

"Okay I'm done with my pathetic speech, now let's have dinner and after that you're driving me to some club because I'm about to get married and I deserve to get waisted one last time"

Jongdae doesn't question Minseok's choice to get drunk on a Sunday, he's just glad he dressed up nicely enough for a night out.

They eat taking turns in mocking each other, Minseok is a good cook but his brother is a picky eater and Jongdae watches and laughs until his stomach hurts then whines when Junmyeon steals a fork of food from his plate. They play rock-scissors-paper to decide the designated driver for the night and Junmyeon loses for Jongdae's amusement.

It's not until Minseok excuses himself to get changed that Jongdae is left alone with the youngest brother. Their mocking has been going on for a while now and Jongdae can't shut his mouth any longer, he steals a glance to the other restraining from grinning widely.

"No work tonight?"

Junmyeon is checking out his new tie, trying it on the white tee and torn jeans he has changed into previously. Burgundy is his color. Every color seems to be his color actually. Even the matching burgundy baseball cap saying '_kiss the RJ_' suits him.

"I don't work on Sundays"

"All those teens with a broken heart will have to wait then"

Junmyeon scoffs. He keeps his eyes fixed on the mirror and takes off the tie trying to maintain a straight face even though his jaw is a little too tensed.

"Hyung told you?"

Jongdae pinches his hip. "Why didn't you want to tell me?"

The other turns and slaps Jongdae’s shoulder with the tie. "Because you look like someone who would listen to every podcast and then use them against me"

It is indeed true, Jongdae already considered doing that and it's not a surprise that Junmyeon could read him so well, he will never get how the man is able to understand people so well. But he also feels that's not the real reason.

Junmyeon wraps his tie around Jongdae's neck without warnings, smoothes the cloth under his collar. His face is close enough Jongdae can see a faint hint of blush on his cheeks.

"At the radio" He starts, red creeping to his neck "I usually talk a lot, talk about things that happen to me or answer based on my experiences. It's not unusual for my mood to escapes through my words. Minseok used to listen to my corner when he was worried about me and every time he was able to figure out how I felt"

Jongdae's eyes are following each movement of Junmyeon, how he skillfully handles the tie twisting and turning to form the knot.

"And I don't like that. I guess no one likes to be an open book"

Jongdae wants to point out how he seems to be an open book for Junmyeon and that is not so bad, that maybe he's worrying too much and that he would never use Junmyeon's words against him. But it is also true that Junmyeon is lying to his brother, is willing to give up everything for him and probably needs a place just for himself to be honest and raw with his feelings.

Jongdae understands it and respects it. He just wishes he could be part of it, be of any help to Junmyeon as much as the latter is helping him.

Junmyeon finishes his work on the tie and pats it with half a smile.

"It looks better on you" He says and Jongdae widens his eyes because it's so not true! "Burgundy is your color"

_Burgundy is your color_, wants to retort Jongdae, but finds that he's unable to speak. He stares into his reflection in the mirror as Junmyeon leaves to check on Minseok. His ears and neck are even more red than his tie and Jongdae wonders if Junmyeon was just making fun of him.

It's Jongdae who gets to decide the place because apparently Minseok hasn't gone out clubbing since he started dating his fiancée and Junmyeon has never gone clubbing at all.

The nearest pub he knows is a modern structure with psychedelic lights where businesses men go to have a drink before going back home and where music isn't boasted until 10pm.

The Kim brothers don't look too comfortable entering the club, they eye the interior as if the walls could suddenly start narrowing and squeeze them, then they look for a table as far as possible from the small stage where a few young couples are already dancing and for a moment Jongdae feels bad for Junmyeon who needs to keep sober, because he looks like he really needs a drink.

A big tattooed guy soon comes to take their orders, Minseok orders a beer to start, Jongdae follows while Junmyeon asks for an orange juice gaining a weird look from the barista that he shrugs off.

"This place is nice" Minseok tries to break the ice sipping at his beer. Only that he's probably the most awkward among them and Jongdae knows he needs more alcohol before loosen up.

"I don't like the music" Comes Junmyeon reply. It's so obvious that Junmyeon would start complaining about the music and Jongdae figures that he'd probably go on until he is allowed at the mixing station. Silly.

"It's because you have to dance to it, not just listen"

But Junmyeon mumbles something along with '_I don't dance_' and shrugs again. He shrugs a lot during the whole night.

They have another round of drinks, tequila shots and another orange juice. Minseok starts to smile more and taps his feet to the rhythm while his brother glances around probably looking for an escape. It's on the third drink that Jongdae notices his vision is blurring already and his favorite hyung is licking at a sugar packet like a maniac, chuckling for a joke he doesn't get. They're not high but surely Minseok has relaxed now.

"I want to dance Jongdae-ya" He whines downing the rest of his glass and resting a hand on Jongdae's. The latter feels his lips draw a small contented smile. Ahh, that warm feeling, the fluttering in his stomach...

And Jongdae doesn't really care that he's a bad dancer, this is the chance of a life, he gotta do it for his hyung. No, he wanna do it for his hyung.

He nods, feeling proud when Minseok's eyes brighten in glee, drags his chair back just enough to stand up but he never stands up because someone is grabbing at his shirt keeping him still in his place.

Junmyeon has an arm stretched towards him, pinching slightly at the hip of the shirt but what's keeping him from standing and following Minseok is the man's expression, like a scared puppy whose eyes are pleading _don't leave me alone_. It is true that Junmyeon has felt out of place since the very first moment they got to the club, Jongdae considers, and he has only drunk juice on his record. But Minseok is Minseok and he very really truly wants to dance with a tipsy Minseok.

"Maybe you can-"

"I don't dance" Cuts short Junmyeon and he still looks scared, almost betrayed that Jongdae is leaving him alone. Junmyeon be damned, after all the deals and stuff they did to get Minseok closer with him, Jongdae is the one who should feel betrayed.

Out of the blue a muscled guy with a ridiculous tank top clears his throat from behind Minseok. Jongdae has no idea where he comes from nor who he is, but he can't help but feel terribly ugly and thin and small next to him. "I don't want to intrude in this but if you're not dancing with him, I'll take the chance"

He's pointing at Minseok like the man isn't present and listening himself. Jongdae feels blood boil in his veins, first because this stranger has been eavesdropping their conversation and second because Minseok has no reason to turn him down except maybe that he's about to get married with a beautiful lady, but that doesn't count (or Jongdae should give up too).

The stranger lifts a hand in Minseok's direction, waiting for the boy to accept it and for a split second Jongdae hopes, begs that he won't do it. But he has to admit that tank-top is handsome and Minseok is drunk and about to lose his freedom. He can't stand the comparison.

"It's my night, I'm not gonna be picky"

Tank-top looks hurt at that but Minseok is quick to accept his hand and lead him into the crowd. Jongdae smirks, feels a bit better knowing he was still his friend's first choice, then opts for giving Minseok the back cause tank-top has drooped an arm across his chest and Jongdae feels like throwing punches.

Right next to him, Junmyeon is looking at the floor swinging his legs a bit like a real outcast. Jongdae remembers the way the man had clutched to him, how he still seems a bit rigid.

"Hey you okay?"

Junmyeon flinches. "Yes, I just don't go out often"

"I can see that"

The other must take it the wrong way because he's soon lowering even more his head and adjusting the short hair falling on his neck in a nervous movement. "I'm sorry" He say next "I know I've acted out of script but"

"Hyung, you do know we don't have a script, right? We made a deal but if you feel insecure about something I'd never force you into doing it. Not even if it means losing a chance with your brother"

Junmyeon is still caressing the back of his hair, strands running through his fingers which, by the way, Jongdae notices are very strong and thick. No second purpose, just facts. Maybe he finds that gesture reassuring because his features has visibly relaxed. But he's also staring at Jongdae in silence and the younger one doesn't know if it means good or bad. Maybe he went a bit too far.

"Ahh!" He tries to test the mood "That was cheesy I know"

"No it's okay, I appreciate it"

Of course Junmyeon can't say otherwise but he looks sincere and intrigued as he scans Jongdae's face almost like he's looking for something. Jongdae feels the need to snap back some remark like '_you really can't take your eyes off of me_' or '_is this perhaps a staring contest?_' but he's aware that it would be his defense mechanism speaking because Junmyeon's eyebrows are digging into him and they're really threatening and thick. Junmyeon has thick eyebrows and fingers. Two absolute useless information that now he can't take off his mind.

"You know what, that wasn't cheesy at all. You wanna know what's cheesy?"

Jongdae bites into his tongue refraining from answering '_cheese_'. He can't help it, he feel embarrassed and cornered because Junmyeon is still staring and, honestly, why is he still staring? What is he trying to see?

Jongdae has always seen Minseok and Junmyeon quite similar but right now he can tell that they have really different personalities. Minseok has always looked at Jongdae with kindness, as if cherishing what's in his sight. When he looks at you the world stops and flowers bloom and suddenly everything is warm and yellowish like a summer morning.

Junmyeon on the other hand has sharper eyes, they can be cute and charming when he's smiling but if he's focused, they become calculating, deep, understanding. It feels like he's sensing every emotions, can see through you and it makes you feel naked, vulnerable. Jongdae doesn't care if the other can read him well, but he cares that he's the one who can't read Junmyeon.

"What's cheesy?" Jongdae asks in the end.

For a millisecond Junmyeon's lips twich, he probably is feeling embarrassed too.

"That you're a really nice person"

"Uhm, that's true. Not cheesy"

Junmyeon swats at his chest jokingly, hums a little, figures another way to say it.

"You're like.. a really really nice person. Like, 'Minseok will surely fall for you' nice or 'you could make any person fall for you' nice"

Believe it or not, Jongdae isn't someone who received many compliments in his life or at least not from people who didn't want to sleep with him. He obviously likes compliments and obviously doesn't know how to take one so he dives for his glass and hides his face inside it trying to gain a few more seconds to let the surprise wash away.

"Yep, that was cheesy. The cheesiest" He concludes when there's no more alcohol to chug. Junmyeon doesn't care, he chuckles a little, turns to look at his brother on the dance floor.

"Minseok hyung is crazy"

Jongdae appreciates the change of subject, turns as well so he can spy on his crush jamming on loud techno music.

"He really is" He smiles, will always smile when it comes to Minseok. "Last time he forgot about my birthday he promised to bring me to _Lotte World_ the next year. I laughed so hard when he told me, I mean, only he came up with such a plan"

The memory is still vivid in Jongdae’s mind, it makes his belly flutter, his eyes go dreamy.

"And then he did?"

Jongdae shakes his head "it would be this year, but is too close to the wedding. I don't think he has the time"

Junmyeon's mouth forms a silent 'o' and brings his eyes back to Minseok. His face is showing a nostalgic feeling, deep thoughts and memories of old days and the more he looks at his brother, the sadder his eyes become. Jongdae hasn't the courage to ask for it, he knows the answer is always the same: he did it for me, he's not happy, he lost his freedom, but he also wish Junmyeon could find some peace and stop torturing himself for something he can't change. Not for now at least.

"He looks happy" Are the tentative words Jongdae mumbles with nonchalance, following Junmyeon's stare to the older brother who is going wild in the crowd. Eyes closed and gums showing, feeling the music, the vibrations, he jumps and sways and rolls his hips, grinds and probably gives tank-top false hopes. But he looks happy, indeed, and maybe that's the problem, that Minseok feels happy dancing with a stranger in a loud club like this is the life he always wanted.

It's not like he's doing anything wrong, but Jongdae has never seen him so excited about dancing in any of their nights out with other workmates. This is different, this is a different Minseok and Jongdae likes him even more, even if he's dancing with a stupid tall guy and not with him, he can almost make out the real emotions, the sparks in his eyes. Jongdae can totally understand why Junmyeon is worried for his brother, he's often seen Minseok happy, but never this happy and not for something so simple as dancing.

He wants to see this Minseok everyday and swears he'll do anything to make him happy like this.

"He used to club a lot. He likes, you know, to act like he's flirting but never really flirt. He's the older son has all the weight of our parents expectations on him and this is his way to rebel"

Jongdae nods, it makes sense. The ever so serious and trustful Minseok, hard working Minseok, none a mistake Minseok. Jongdae had started liking him for that side of him, but he decides he like the carefree hyung the most now. He's also surprised when Minseok grabs tank-top's arm and he's not jealous, only grateful that his friend is having fun. Junmyeon must catch the action too and laughs slapping his own forehead before sighing into his juice.

"I hate to see him wasting his best years sitting on a couch watching old soap because he lost most of his friends when he started dating his girlfriend. He's always alone or with her, you have no idea how grateful I am to you for coming into his life. He cares so much for you, I can tell. You're the only guy he has shown interest in ever since..."

It's always nice to hear that you mean a lot to someone and Junmyeon is talking about Minseok, the Minseok he had a crush on for months. But he's not feeling happiness bubbling at the pitch of his stomach, he can't be enthusiastic about it when Junmyeon is still looking at his brother with concern.

It may not be much, but he needs to speak his thoughts.

"Hyung, you think it's your fault but it isn't. He made a choice and you couldn't do anything about it"

"I got to be who I wanted because he let me" Junmyeon's jaw tights.

"But now you're turning tables and what if it means you can't be yourself anymore? It's not like you can stop yourself from liking men"

The other keeps a straight face, eyebrows slightly curved and.. of course he already thought about it. Junmyeon planned everything since the beginning.

"My parents don't like me already, they bare with me because I'm their son but I know they feel embarrassed about me. Once Minseok comes out they will blame it on me and just keep hating me for it for the rest of my life. It's okay, Minseok is worth it"

Jongdae can't believe his ears, he grabs a coaster and throws it at Junmyeon for talking nonsense.

"Shut up! I bet it's not true. They're your parents, they love you and yes maybe they feel a bit disappointed now and probably will feel more disappointed for Minseok but they will still support the both of you because you're two amazing sons"

"I tell you they don't like me, they were never okay with the choices I made. I dated a guy, dropped out of law school, pursued a radio career.. they sounded so relieved when I moved out"

Junmyeon doesn't feel loved. Jongdae almost curses when he realizes the reason behind Junmyeon's inestimable love for his brother. Minseok is Junmyeon's family, the only one who probably made him feel adequate, that took him into his house when he felt homeless and that's a very Minseok thing to do.

And as much as Junmyeon worries for his brother, he must feel lonely too. Now that he thinks about it, besides that coworker Kai, Jongdae has never heard Junmyeon talking about friends or people close to him. The two brothers have built a small family on their own, but they're also too busy protecting each other to realize no one's happy.

Jongdae bites his lips. "Well it might not matter but I like you and I find hard to believe someone doesn't like you"

Junmyeon has lifted a (thick) eyebrow and Jongdae sucks in his breath because he's such a sap but at the same time wants Junmyeon to feel a little better. "I don't like many people but with you it felt like we've always been friends. It's unusual of me to get along so well with someone in a short period of time so I say that you're just underestimating yourself"

A small smile appears on Junmyeon's face and it's all that Jongdae needs to continue his praise with a little more confidence. Seems like it's working. "I feel like we will have one of those friendships that everyone envy because it's super close and funny and.. yeah, something like 'my best friend married my brother' kind of friendship and 'please don't tell me the details in bed he's my brother' and in the morning we'll have breakfast together while Minseok and your future boyfriend are still asleep and we'll make lame jokes about them and form an alliance"

When Jongdae finishes his speech, not without feeling really embarrassed and hot and pathetic (but it's for a good cause), Junmyeon is laughing his ass out, punching the table and holding his stomach. His eye-smile is back and Jongdae can sigh in relief.

"Best friend, huh?" Junmyeon teases him when he's able to breathe again.

"Stop talking and come dance with me"

The amused glint in Junmyeon's eyes turns into terror in an instant.

"Ah, I don't -"

"Trust me, it's really not possible that you're a worse dancer than me"

Junmyeon is left gaping and Jongdae takes advantage of the situation and stands up pulling at the other's wrist. He drags Junmyeon to the center of the dance floor under Minseok's astonished eyes, grins because he's proud he managed to.

Junmyeon is stiff and timid, he doesn't dare to actually move but lets Jongdae guides him by the arm. It's a ridiculous attempt that cannot really be called dancing but after a few minutes Junmyeon smiles, actually smiles like he's having fun, start tapping a foot, swings his shoulders a couple of times, grips at Jongdae’s shirt for dear life. Jongdae screams startling the other, stomps on Junmyeon's foot accidentally and both end up laughing like mad men.

"Oh gosh, you mean it when you say you danced terribly" Junmyeon's voice is barely udibile above the music.

"You're not too good yourself" Replies Jongdae amused at his own joke.

To pay him back Junmyeon pushes him slightly, then catches his shirt and pulls him back. Suddenly they're really close, so close Jongdae feels a bit dizzy because people are crowding around them and the alcohol is finally kicking in. He needs to finds support and in that moment Junmyeon's arms seem to be the better option, so he holds onto them and is surprised to discover Junmyeon has thick eyebrows and fingers and also thick arms.

The elder doesn't seem to care, he's busy balancing his weight on one foot and then the other, careful not to kick Jongdae in the meantime. A new song is played and the crowd starts to warm up, squishing the two friends closer and at this point Jongdae is gripping even harder on Junmyeon afraid to be hit by someone. Again, Junmyeon doesn't point it out but chuckles a bit and let his hands run down Jongdae’s own arms, who shivers in return tightening his grip on Junmyeon's biceps. There's a split moment when Junmyeon must be conscious of the small gap between them because he coughs nervously and his fingers falter, slide down and brush Jongdae’s hips. The latter jumps and Junmyeon does too, it's comical but Jongdae feels almost shy when in the end his friend settles his hands on his elbows.

He wants to save the situation, snark a joke that will make them crack for how messy they are, but Junmyeon is still focused on his steps, doesn't look uncomfortable and maybe it's everything in Jongdae's mind.

In that position they can barely move, only sway a bit. Jongdae can picture Minseok laughing his ass off seeing how awkward they are on the dance floor, tries to shake the thought off and looks up at Junmyeon who is still incredibly close.

He's staring back, amused and a little resigned.

"This shouldn't be a slow dance"

Jongdae searches for a good remark but is it true that no one is doing it even remotely similar so he ends up shrugging and bumping a knee on Junmyeon's. The latter snickers.

"I can't believe you made me slow dance on a Rihanna Remix"

Jongdae can't believe many things, first of all that he's dancing with Junmyeon instead of his brother, and that he's having fun too and not thinking about Minseok at all. His head is lightly spinning because of the strong neon lights traveling the room, the different colors hitting Junmyeon's body, face, eyes and Jongdae follows the pattern they draw on his neck, up his lips and nose. It's funny somehow, how much Jongdae was right. Every color is Junmyeon's color. He doesn't even know why he's thinking about this, blames it on the alcohol because it's been a strange night and strange things happen whenever Jongdae drinks.

When he lifts his gaze Junmyeon is still watching him in confusion, silently asking what's going on in his mind. Junmyeon doesn't have to know his drunk thoughts though and he shakes his head to dismiss the question quickly.

"It's nice" He thinks, then realizes he probably said it aloud because he's stupid and tipsy and now Junmyeon is back staring with that poker face of his, the one when he has a lot on his mind but doesn't want to show. It sends Jongdae in panic, he hates when Junmyeon doesn't say a thing and only stares, cause he could be thinking that Jongdae is a total weirdo and he would never know. And it's bad, Jongdae wants to know, he wants to know what Junmyeon thinks of him.

"Stop staring! You've been staring the whole night" it comes out a bit whiny and a bit desperate.

Junmyeon doesn't reply immediately, only adverts his eyes over Jongdae's shoulder, but then suddenly whispers "It's okay, it's nice for real"

Jongdae feels Junmyeon stiffen under his touch, is close enough to hear his heartbeat reverberate against his chest, pleads that the other can't hear his hammering just as loud.

It has started as funny and ridiculous and now is slow and nice.

But Junmyeon is right. It's okay, because Jongdae can blame it on the alcohol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know im repetitive but i'll never stop being grateful to whoever comments and leaves kudos. this is my first chaptered ff here and you're making me feel quite proud of it even though i know im not the best author TT so thank you so much ad let me know if the story is running too fast ♥


	6. double date?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jongdae starts to doubt

The following days Junmyeon texts him like nothing happened. Because, in fact, nothing happened.

It's easy to fall into their routine again, talking about this and that, mostly analyzing Minseok and mocking each other and for a couple of weeks Jongdae’s life goes on automatic: work, dinner, Junmyeon's radio, sleep, repeat.

Another weekend comes when Jongdae actually realizes Minseok is still engaged and he is running out of time. There're only a few months to go until the wedding, Minseok hasn't given any sign of rethinking and Yixing has been teasing Jongdae every day saying the plan is gonna fail miserably and sending him in full panic mode.

It's late in the evening and Jongdae has his ear buds plugged into his phone listening to Suho talking about a young boy who doesn't know how to tell his parents he wants to be a singer. He lies on the bed with his phone next to him, not really paying attention to what is being said on the radio. He can still hear Junmyeon's soothing voice and it's enough to calm him down because he remembers Junmyeon is there to help him just like Suho helps so many people every day. It's a bit out of the blue and Jongdae knows the other won't be able to reply until a few hours later but he texts Junmyeon right when the other is telling the listeners to send their concerns through the radio app. Luckily he has Junmyeon's personal number which makes Jongdae kinda proud about it.

To: **_junmyeon hyung_**

_/ The wedding is approaching :(_

_/ What should I do?_

He doesn't expect a text back so he sighs and places his phone down focusing on the two speakers who are now reading a few comments.

"_'silly love song please play a cheering song since I have an exam tomorrow!' that's okay bananamilk95-ssi we'll play a nice song for you. Good luck on your exam!_" Kai reads ending with a soft '_fighting_' and taking turns with Suho for the next message.

"_'I bet Suho will play another Red Velvet song kkk he's obsessed kkk'_" Junmyeon chuckles through the earphones empathizing the _k_ sound. It's high pitched and genuine and it makes Jongdae smile too. "_Then what about a SNSD song?_"

"_'Suho and Kai are so close and cute together. Please get married', what are you saying! We're just friends!_"

Jongdae opens his eyes in shock. Kai is laughing nervously and probably cursing in his head for picking the wrong message but beside the fantasy of a young fan, it's true that Kai and Suho sounds close and before he knows it Jongdae is waiting to hear a comment from Junmyeon.

He doesn't know what he expects but he's wiping his palm on the blanket and feels the rush of curiosity burn inside him. Once again he remembers how Kai is the only person Junmyeon has ever mentioned beside his brother, is it really that impossible they're dating or something?

And in that case why hasn't Junmyeon said anything?

"_Kai is way too dependent for my liking, it would feel more that I'm babysitting rather than dating_" Suho finally replies with a mocking tone, choosing the right words that wouldn't give away his actual position on the matter but still letting know he doesn't despise the idea of dating a guy. It's a clever answer, Jongdae must admit he's a real pro.

He releases his breath that he didn't even know he was holding. It's dumb and doesn't make sense but Jongdae feels almost relieved to know the two speakers are just friends, maybe because he imagines Junmyeon with a caring and mature person, someone he must approve in first place.

But it doesn't feel right so he turns on his stomach and rests his head on the pillow.

"_Yellowsung-ssi texts 'kkk don't ever get married, my wedding is in two weeks and my father is still trying to change my mind. So stressful! _" Woah, I heard Suho's brother is about to marry too, why don't you say something to _Yellowsung-ssi_"

Jongdae immediately springs up on his elbows grabbing tight into the pillow when Kai brings up Minseok. Not because he's once again reminded Minseok is effectively engaged but because he's not sure how Junmyeon could react. He remembers the elder saying how he is usually very open about his feelings at the radio and almost expects the boy to spurt everything out or at least give a sarcastic remark but he sounds really sincere when he says "_I'm sure your dad loves you a lot and thinks you'll be happier with another person. That doesn't mean he's right though. Convince him of your choice. He might be thinking a particular type of person would suit you better because.._"

Because?

It's so confusing. What Junmyeon is saying is the complete opposite of what they came up with for the plan. They never wanted Minseok to demonstrate how happy he is, they know it wouldn't be true so why is he giving such advices? Has Junmyeon changed his mind? That would explain why Suho stopped mid sentence as if he was too embarrassed to continue.

"_What Suho is trying to say is that parents have expectations and a model they like and sometimes they tend to force this model into their children. But just because they like this person it doesn't mean you have to like them as well. If you're sure of your choice don't feel pressured_"

A new song is played after that and Jongdae contemplates whether he should shut the radio off. There's a lot on his mind, he feels bad for Minseok just like any other day but that's not it.. there's something else that's making his stomach upset and the first word that come across his mind is 'betrayal'. It may be childish and Jongdae hates himself for this but, yes, he feels betrayed that Junmyeon hasn't been honest with his feelings on the plan. Jongdae has trusted the guy blind eyes and he wishes the other would do the same. He wants Junmyeon to trust him and rely on him.

The phone vibrates on his side, Jongdae didn't hope for a reply before Junmyeon's corner was over but his name is flashing on the screen and Jongdae wants to punch himself in the face for how fast he's clicking on it.

From: **_junmyeon hyung_**

_* / minseok asked for a date!! She will be there but better than nothing (^_-)_

The ticklish sensation at the pitch of his belly is obviously a symptom of anxiety for the upcoming date, Jongdae has no other reason to feel like that. Even if Junmyeon made time to text him during work, it's just courtesy, nothing else and he should stop reading too much into actions just because Junmyeon said dancing with him was nice. Their friendship isn't awkward and he's only overthinking.

A date. With Minseok.

Jongdae wants this date, he likes the idea so much he feels his cheeks burn a little. It's what he needs, a day with the man of his dream.

He types a quick reply but hesitates to click the send button. It's an harmless question, nothing he would stress over on any other day and that's scary because Jongdae liked how easily he and Junmyeon have become friends and for a moment he questions when he started to weight words with Junmyeon. He sends it in the end to prove they're still in good terms and nothing changed.

To: **_junmyeon hyung_**

_/ will u be there too?_

Nothing changed but Jongdae still jumps when the phone almost immediately buzzes again.

From: **_junmyeon hyung_**

_* / that was the plan (^o^)_

Good. A date with Minseok and Junmyeon, like any other time. Nothing _really_ changed and Jongdae relaxes a bit knowing he's only been paranoid. His fingers are shaking while writing the next message but he feels bolder, he even dares a mocking emoji.

To: **_junmyeon hyung_**

_/ are you and kai really not dating?_

He's not trying to be nosy but Junmyeon isn't being very open about his private life and Jongdae really wants to gain his trust.

Junmyeon types something, then stops. Probably cancels it. Types again.

From: **_junmyeon hyung_**

_* / stop listening to my radio!!!_

Jongdae silently laughs, decides not to point out how he didn't answer the question.

He ponders what he should write back, it's not like he has any intention on dropping his night schedule with Suho, so he sets for something that he hopes will make Junmyeon feel at ease. Because nothing happened and nothing changed.

To: **_junmyeon hyung_**

_/ I was making sure you were happy, you moron!!_

Once again Jongdae sees the little dots signaling that Junmyeon is writing. Then he stops again and writes again. He goes offline, comes back and in the end all Jongdae receives is three words:

From: **_junmyeon hyung_**

_* / back to work ;)_

Jongdae isn't disappointed but he somehow feels empty, like he's missing something. He knows Junmyeon probably isn't even thinking about that night at the club and can't figure out why he's still brooding about it. They made it pretty clear how their friendship didn't change, as well as their plan.

Maybe Jongdae is really just anxious for the date.

He turns up the volume of the radio and closes his eyes when Suho starts with a new topic. His voice really is soothing he can almost fall asleep.

Jongdae turns around in the bed a couple of times, finds a better position to rest.

Something is still missing.

Oh, and Junmyeon hasn't answered his question.

The cinema isn't crowded as he expected, it's only 4pm and most halls are filled with kids or young couples. Jongdae is excited and not because of the movie (thrillers aren't Jongdae's favorite) but because Minseok is almost jumping in glee and hasn't noticed he's holding on Jongdae instead of his girlfriend.

When they settle into their seats, Jongdae makes sure to steal a spot next to Minseok knowing they will have to share an armrest this way and, who knows, maybe Jongdae will accidentally hold his hand. The movie isn't about to begin for another ten minutes, lights are still on so Jongdae simply sits still and glances around noticing his surroundings. There aren't many people beside them, actually no one close enough to see them and it makes Jongdae feel a little more confident in showing Minseok some affection during the date.. If only it wasn't for her.

It's not for her presence, Junmyeon is there as well and he's not a bother at all, but it's in the way she talks leaning onto Minseok's shoulder, or how she has always been nothing but kind with Jongdae so that he can't really hate her. Jongdae never expected to be alone with Minseok but it's almost as if she can sense his plan and sticks to her boyfriend even closer than usual.

"I'll go buy popcorns, noona do you mind help me?" Junmyeon suddenly asks letting his sweater fall on the other seat beside Jongdae. It's official, Junmyeon is his savior.

Minseok's fiancée nods and checks the time to be sure they'll be back in time for the movie before following her in-law towards the exit. It lasts a nanosecond but Jongdae sees the quick glance Junmyeon spares his way and he knows it's a warning, it says _don't waste the chance_ and _you know what to do_. The excitement starts to turn into anxiety when he's suddenly alone with Minseok, in a cinema hall with only a few people and right when the lights are suddenly turned down. The first trailer is aired, Jongdae fixes his eyes on the big screen but is too aware of every small moves of Minseok, even if the guy is just scratching his arm or sitting up straight. It's funny because his senses are so focused that soon all he can hear is the thumping of his heart and he fails to record Minseok leaning on his side and whispering inside his ear.

"Do you get scared easily?"

Chills run down Jongdae's spine, both for the surprise and because Minseok is so damn close and Jongdae knows that all he has to do is turn his head and their lips would be only an inch apart. But he can't, not yet.

"Not really"

He answers. His voice cracks a bit but pretends it's because he can't talk aloud.

Jongdae fights the inner desire to give in and rest his head on Minseok's shoulder for the rest of the movie. He knows his boundaries and knows how to stay in his place until the right time comes, but waiting for Minseok to show a sign is exhausting and Jongdae doesn't have much time. Still he is proud of the improvements he made in such a short time and could never force the elder into something he isn't ready to face.

Another trailer echoes through the room, there's a romantic song in the background and Jongdae recalls having heard it in one of Junmyeon's podcasts. He cracks his neck and makes sure no one is looking, then he grasps lightly at Minseok's arm and leans on his ear lowering his voice on purpose. His low tone is really captivating and he knows it.

"And you? Do you get scared easily hyung?"

Jongdae had imagined a scenery where Minseok's breath hitched and he stuttered a quick reply but to his disappointment the man just shakes his head grinning mischievously.

"Nope, but my brother does. He jumps every time there's a loud noise"

It's particularly endearing to know Junmyeon's weak spots, somehow Jongdae finds extremely amusing making fun of the latter. But for someone scared of sudden noises there's no sense to go see a thriller either so he drops his sexy voice and asks "Really? Why did he come then?"

Minseok watches him with a funny expression like he can't understand if Jongdae’s question is legit or not.

"Because this is the concept of a double date"

A double date.

Junmyeon never talked about a double date. He did mention a date but not double. A double date implies two couples as in Jongdae and Minseok and another couple, but Minseok has a girlfriend which makes Jongdae and Junmyeon the "other" couple. And Jongdae and Junmyeon are in no way a couple. They danced together and found it nice but that doesn't mean they're a couple.

_Nothing happened_, Jongdae repeats again, _nothing happened_.

Junmyeon has probably seen a chance and grabbed it so that Jongdae could spend more time with his brother. Yup, that sounds good. That makes sense.

Junmyeon and Minseok's fiancée are coming back in that moment, two large bowls of popcorn under their arms. Jongdae notices Junmyeon still has very muscular arms and immediately averts his eyes because he needs to stop getting so affected by his thoughts everytime some question pops up his mind. They're comfortable as always around each other as Junmyeon shows stretching on his seat and placing the bowl between them.

Jongdae gulps down his worries, sharing popcorns can't be counted as a date and in any case Junmyeon bought two cans of cola. No indirect kiss this time. Not that it upsets him, it's not like he had wished for... oh God why is he even thinking about indirect kisses!?

"So?"

Junmyeon mutters lifting an eyebrow and beckoning his brother's way.

Jongdae doesn't know how to respond, he had a plan but that was before knowing they're supposed to be on a double date. He feels dumb and annoyed because Junmyeon clearly doesn't expects it to be a date at all, he's so relaxed and at ease Jongdae wants to punch himself for even questioning. He is glad and feels a heavy burden being lifted from his back but at the same time there's something inside him that insists to ask because until Junmyeon isn't saying it himself, there's this tiny almost invisible possibility that they are, in fact, on a date.

The movie is starting, lights are completely turned off. It's now or never.

Jongdae covers his mouth with a hand and moves closer to Junmyeon.

"Minseok thinks we're on a double date" He spurts quickly, glancing back and making sure Minseok can't hear them. Junmyeon isn't surprised nor shocked and it makes Jongdae feel ever more stupid.

"That's ridiculous" Says the other grabbing a handful of popcorns and munching on them "noona and I aren't that close"

It's almost adorable how naive Junmyeon can be sometimes, but it does the trick nonetheless because it means Junmyeon is absolutely distant to the thought they are on a date together.

It's relieving.

Jongdae steals a popcorn and look in front of him finally focusing on the movie. He remembers what Minseok said about Junmyeon being easily scared by loud noises, waits impatiently for the first jumpscare scene to tease the guy and lighten the mood.

Junmyeon must feel the tension too because he looks a lot more rigid than before.

Minseok and his girlfriend are insufferable.

It's worse than Jongdae has expected, she keeps giggling and feeding Minseok popcorns then changing direction last second so he can pretend to be mad and bite her fingers.

Disgusting.

Jongdae sighs as he takes all the armrest for himself, the idea to accidentally bump hands with Minseok long forgotten at this point. He hates that he can hear them even more than the fact he can see their shapes in the dark, bickering affectionately and giving each other small pecks.

Jongdae wishes for the villain of the movie to actually come out the screen and slaughter him.

The date will probably be a disaster, Minseok's girlfriend is all over him which makes it impossible for Jongdae to dare a move and he kinda feels bad for Junmyeon who had high expectations and even set up the date. He turns to apologize or maybe to seek some compassion from his friend but he finds Junmyeon with fists clenched and eyes closed, right when the movie blasts a creepy lullaby that predicts a sudden jump scare. Jongdae can tell from how Junmyeon is scrunching his nose and brows that he's not actually scared, more like annoyed that he knows a sudden noise is about to come but will still yelp in surprise. No lie, he looks silly but Jongdae has a past with Yixing and countless horror movies that had him whine for hours for about the same reason so he decides to be generous and repay Junmyeon for arranging the date.

The girl on the screen is slowly opening a door, Junmyeon squints even more his eyes and then Jongdae is picking up a popcorn and throwing it in Junmyeon's face.

It's so simple yet so unexpected that the other hisses and opens immediately his eyes trying to understand what just happened.

It works, Junmyeon misses the scene but now is burning holes into Jongdae's head who's busy biting into his lower lip to hold back a laughter. With the corner of the eye he sees Minseok chatting with his girlfriend and for the first time he doesn't care, he's too busy faking his innocence. But it's just too obvious it was him, Junmyeon doesn't have to ask he only warns with a low growl "Jongdae.." and then the guy is trying to shove a popcorn inside Jongdae nostrils.

They try to stay quiet but Jongdae can't help a squeak while he fights back and Junmyeon chuckles a bit too loud when Jongdae grasps another handful of popcorns and threatens to throw them, that half of the spectators turns to shush them.

Minseok is the one to apologize in their behalf, spares them a severe look but doesn't question their behavior.

The room goes silent again, Jongdae dusts off a few popcorn crumbs and resume the movie. There's a soft bubbling in his stomach, a contentment that he can't quite address but it's fine, as long as it's making him happy.

The counterattack comes totally unexpected in the form of a popcorn precisely thrown to his nose and another one that gets stuck through his hair.

Jongdae has a pride and a honor and he can't let it pass.

He dives his hand inside the popcorn bowl with a new resolution in his eyes but Junmyeon reaches for it quickly and holds it with a firm grip that doesn't allow Jongdae to move. He tries to wrest away from him but Junmyeon is easily keeping him still, looking at the front as if fighting Jongdae was a piece of cake and tightening the grip around the back of Jongdae’s hand forcing him to let the popcorns go.

For a moment Jongdae thinks to seek help from Minseok but the man is once again really busy playing with his girlfriend's hair and Junmyeon would probably call him a coward forever. The bastard is half grinning, still looking at the screen comfortably with no intention to let go of his hand. It's unnerving, his hand is starting to sweat and his arms aches a bit for the weird position. In his last attempt to fight him, Jongdae turns and tries to bite Junmyeon's shoulder but the latter avoids the attack in one movement calling him childish in a soft whisper.

"It hurts sucker" Jongdae murmurs with a whine and finally Junmyeon eases the hold. He expects the other to let him free but Junmyeon lets his fingers linger above Jongdae’s for a couple of second, almost insecure and then he's gently turning Jongdae’s hand and clasping their palms together.

It takes Jongdae by surprise, makes him go rigid in an instant. Junmyeon's eyes are forever fixed at the movie but he looks less mischievous, more tight. His jaw is tensed, his pupils unfocused making him look very aware, maybe.. scared?

He doesn't know how to react because Junmyeon can be weird sometimes and has never backed off from skinship. But this is different, Junmyeon is holding his hand inside a half finished bowl of popcorn and for no apparent reason. Maybe he just want to be sure that Jongdae won't take revenge or maybe he's only mocking him and there's no deep meaning in the action. But their fingers aren't only touching, they're interviewed together, like Minseok holds his fiancée. Jongdae can hear Junmyeon taking long breaths, tries to follow the same pace because his heart is hammering hard and he's afraid to break down if his friend keeps drawing circles on his skin as if it's completely normal. Junmyeon shifts his weight, dares to look at Jongdae for a second before staring at the movie again, biting his lips, unclenching his fingers only to grasp Jongdae a little bit tighter like he wants to prove something, to make sure Jongdae understands what he's doing and that's the point, Jongdae hasn't understood at all. All he knows is that for some reason he isn't retreating his hand, for some reason he likes the warmth and the contact with his skin. For some reason he doesn't want to let go yet but can't stop telling himself that it's wrong, that nothing happened and this is just another way Junmyeon is playing him a joke. It's not a double date, it's ridiculous, that's what Junmyeon said. It's ridiculous that Minseok has only eyes for his girlfriend and is ridiculous how his stomach is fluttering and his ears burning in embarrassment.

Jongdae blames his miserable crush on Minseok, it's Minseok's fault if he hasn't date anyone in a year. He misses the feeling of being taken care, simple gestures like a kiss on the fingers or a soft stroke. It's Minseok's fault if Jongdae needs to fight back the sudden idea to screw everything and lean his head on Junmyeon's shoulder, just so he can feel a closeness and an intimacy he's dying to have with Minseok himself. He needs to fight the hope Junmyeon would not only be okay with it but would also rest his cheek on top of his nape which is completely out of the general bros-boundary. He hates Minseok because the man decided to get married and now Jongdae has to push his desires into the only available guy.

There's another scary scene that has half of the spectators jump in surprise and obviously Junmyeon winces and squeezes Jongdae’s hand once more before shaking his head until his hair are covering his eyes. Jongdae can't stop thinking he did it to hide his face so no one can read his expression, because he doesn't want to look weak. It's laughable because his own heart is about to burst for a stroke on the back of his hand but Junmyeon is worried that being scared of sudden noises will make him a sissy.

The sound of rustling next to him catches Jongdae's attention, he barely turns only to see Minseok planting a kiss right on his girlfriend's mouth and petting her head softly.

That's it, that's when Jongdae feels a fire burns inside him, a pain that isn't really painful but forces him to tear away his eyes, a jealousy he is used to live with because no matter what, Minseok is still hers and Jongdae has to deal with it. Maybe is that jealousy that gives Jongdae the confidence he needed or maybe he's dying to show Junmyeon that it's fine to have weaknesses, but the next moment he's holding his breath and pulling back his and Junmyeon's hands to settle on the armrest together, still half hidden inside the bowl.

His senses are on high alert, he knows this is crazy and totally inappropriate but he squeezes Junmyeon's hand in return trying to comfort him. It does. Junmyeon exhales through his nose and although his mouth still looks tensed, his face is more relaxed and he's back biting into his lip but in a different way, almost as if he's trying to suppress a smile.

Really, completely inappropriate.

But the butterflies Jongdae feels inside his belly are awfully real.

He must be a stupid, delusional freak because once the movie ends his fantasies will vanish and he'll still be really alone without Minseok on his side.

Junmyeon, though, decides that they've been awkward enough and is still holding on his hand when he picks up a popcorn and guides it inside his mouth, hands tangled and now exposed out of the bowl, where everyone can see. It sends a shiver down Jongdae’s spine, there's a weird excitement to actually see their hands intertwined, a light anticipation right before Junmyeon purses his lips on the treat and slightly brushes one of Jongdae's finger.

It shouldn't be a big deal, Junmyeon surely is acting like it's nothing, so why does he almost stop breathing? Why does he need to close his eyes for a moment to regain some composure?

What if Minseok sees him like that?

Oh..

As soon as Jongdae opens his eyes he finds Minseok staring back at him. He's glancing back and forth between him and his hand tightly hugged between Junmyeon's.

Minseok is looking at him. Minseok is finally looking at him and he's one step from being sprawled against Junmyeon side. He panics, tries to retreat his hand but Junmyeon stops him out of habit and only when he turns and sees his brother staring he immediately lets go.

Minseok does not look angry nor annoyed, but very very confused. Confused and a bit hurt if Jongdae inspected closely. But why?

He wants to reassure Minseok that nothing is going on and that he only feels alone, that Junmyeon is only being kind and playing around a little but the words get stuck at the back of his throat when the elder shows a timid smile and goes back to watch the end of the movie. On top of that he realizes Junmyeon is doing nothing to explain his side not even when Minseok's fiancée joins the general confusion and asks what happened.

_Nothing_, says Jongdae inside his mind, _nothing is happening and nothing is changed_. He suddenly feels bad, wonders if Minseok might be angry for some unknown reason but instead of giving an explanation he only taps the man on the side waiting for the other to return the action. Minseok does, gifts him with a splendid smile too and Jongdae knows they're fine.

For the rest of the time Jongdae feels too embarrassed to face Junmyeon and the tension that eventually has settled between them, pends a bit on Minseok's side because for once he thinks it's safer that way. He also doesn't expect Junmyeon to take his hand again, is not disappointed when in fact he doesn't but he must admit he misses the sensation. He can almost sense a light buzzing lingering.

When the movie ends and Junmyeon and Minseok's girlfriend excuse themselves to look for the restrooms, Jongdae is still thinking about what happened and how to approach Junmyeon to talk about it.

"You know, I wouldn't mind" Minseok clears his voice. He's glancing around with nonchalance.

"Excuse me?"

"I mean with Junmyeon"

Jongdae opens his mouth in shock. He completely mistook the situation.

"Hyung, no! It's not like that at all!"

Minseok is a bit wary but nods. He doesn't look convinced at all.

"If you say so"

From: **_junmyeon hyung_**

_* / We're home, thanks for today!_

Jongdae is lying on his bed, still dressed in his formal clothes and with his phone held up his nose. He re-reads the text a couple of times, asks himself if Junmyeon is playing pretend, if he expects Jongdae to play along.

There's a text he already typed but is undecided to send.

_/ What was that?_

He cancels it. Too direct, Junmyeon doesn't need to know how much he's easily affected by these apparently harmless situations. A soft ring alerts that a new message has been received.

From: **_junmyeon hyung_**

_* / Don't think too much about today, next time it'll be better_

Next time. Next time what? Next time he'll see Minseok? Next time they'll end up on a double date?

Next time Junmyeon will muster up the courage to take his hand?

Jongdae sighs and throws his phone on the mattress.

In the end Junmyeon is still his friend and he only wants him to be his friend. He would be a liar if he said he didn't miss the warmth of Junmyeon's skin on his, but it only makes him more determined to win Minseok's heart and finally end his boring single life. For now he can ask Yixing to sleep with him for the night, help him nurse his shaken heart.

Ah.. if only his hand would stop trembling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my goal is to end this story without giving Minseok's gf a name, she will forever be the fiancée.  
im not very confident about this chap, no matter how many times i've changed some parts it seems a little weird and forced to me but anyway thanks for all the lovely comments and kudos, i hope it's not getting too boring ♥


	7. the quarrel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wedding's approaching

Days turn to weeks, weeks to months and soon summer is coming to an end with Jongdae still relegated to best friend status. 

To be honest his relationship with Minseok has never got better: they send each other funny photos during work time, take coffee breaks together, go out on the weekends and Jongdae's belly still flutters when the elder treats him to a beer or juice. 

Thinking about it, it’s not good that Minseok picked up the habit to treat him like a younger brother which is, in every circumstances, comfortable and nice, but Jongdae can sense the change and he had always needed a bit of time to adjust to new situations. He knows rushing things won't lead anywhere and despite the time running out he can see Minseok's affection for him growing each day. 

What Jongdae hadn't expected though, was for Minseok to not only become a fixed presence in his life but to also bring along new colors and people. For one thing, his brother.

Junmyeon is a fresh spray of originality and security. Someone Jongdae can rely on when panic kicks in or when he feels down and needs some fun. The friend he never knew he needed, who wears ugly baseball caps and sends him playlists based on Jongdae's mood. He's so used to Junmyeon tagging along that when the guy eventually stops going out, Jongdae feels like he did something wrong. Something probably having to do with a cinema hall and a popcorn bowl, hands tangled and hearts beating. 

What's bothers Jongdae the most is that Junmyeon keeps texting him like nothing's wrong, which is fine, because they're adults and they have a common goal and they know a _non-date_ doesn't mean anything, but at the same time the elder is finding new excuses every day for not showing up to their meetings. It makes Jongdae mad because.. because it's not right. Junmyeon is part of the plan too and Jongdae needs him. 

_ Jongdae needs him. _

From: **_junmyeon hyung_**

_* / it's better like this, so you can have a date alone!! _

Replies Junmyeon in between his radio schedules, right after Jongdae has asked him if he's gonna come to the soccer event Minseok planned to watch together the following week.

It is true, indeed, but Jongdae can't help but feel disappointed. 

He's logged into _Peter Pan_'s radio, listening to commercials break while waiting for the two RJs to resume the show. There's a jingle suggesting to send his concern to some number and Jongdae questions if it's too childish to ask Junmyeon what's wrong between them through his radio. It is, so he deletes the message and directly texts Junmyeon's personal number. 

To: **_junmyeon hyung_**

_/ we'll miss you :((_

Jongdae isn't sure who _we_ is referring to, considering Minseok is Junmyeon's brother and pretty much lives with him.  He only knows he feels restless and stressed out.

Yixing is in the kitchen when Jongdae enters the room, eating leftovers and scrolling through his iPad. 

"Yo, wanna drink?" 

Jongdae opens the fridge and takes out a half finished bottle of soju and two glasses. 

"How did you know?" 

Yixing smirks, still looking angelic somehow. "You only come out your room to drink at this time" 

The first shot is downed, Jongdae wipes his mouth with his sleeve, pours another round, one for his roommate too.

"Troubles in heaven?" Yixing probes, eying the younger carefully.

Jongdae isn't sure he wants to open up. Yixing is kind and lovely and a great listener but he also likes to tease a lot and with tease he means to state the truth in a very sarcastic way. Jongdae doesn't know if he's ready for what smart Yixing is going to say. He downs another shot, caps the bottle right after because he's still mature enough to know when to stop on a week day. 

"If you don't wanna talk it's okay. It's probably about Minseok still being in love with a woman" Says Yixing taking a sip out of his glass. 

Jongdae chuckles, punches the boy softly because he's silly but a good friend.

"It's not about Minseok hyung, it's Junmyeon" 

Jongdae decides to ignore the way Yixing's eyes glow up at the name. Even when the latter mutters a low "Of course it's Junmyeon" 

"I mean, the wedding is in a month and he disappeared.. puff.. does he not care about the plan anymore?" 

He didn’t intend to sound so whiny, but he needs to pour his stress out even if it’s dramatic and stupid because he hates this. Hates that Junmyeon is ignoring his duties and that he feels guilty at the possibility that Junmyeon simply lost faith in him. Most of all, he hates to feel like everything is his fault when it’s Junmyeon who’s making things awkward.

“And you? Do you care about the plan?”

Jongdae scoffs, he’s ready to bark back an answer but then notices how serious Yixing is. His roommate is staring somehow worried, his glass still half full, trying to decide if he should continue or if Jongdae already understood what he’s implying. Deep inside him, Jongdae thinks he understands, but when he opens his mouth only a soft “what do you mean?” comes out.

Yixing nods and empties his soju.

“Do you still mind Minseok getting married?”

Suddenly his throat feels very dry and in his mind a voice tells him that he should be angry at Yixing because he doesn’t know anything, he’s not part of the deal and doesn’t know what Jongdae is going through.

He doesn’t have the chance to voice it though, because his phone vibrates right in that moment, breaking the tension and allowing Jongdae to excuse himself out of the room.

“It’s Minseok, he needs me” He says quickly after some minutes, when he returns in the kitchen to grab his keys. Yixing is still sitting at the table, a new glass is being poured and he his wearing his usual kind expression, maybe just a little tired. He doesn’t comment, only reminding Jongdae that he has a night shift and will be back in the morning.

When he goes out the apartment, Jongdae feels that he can start breathe again.

  
  


It's late when Jongdae arrives at Minseok's house, running up two steps at time because if his hyung calls him at that hour it could only mean trouble. The man has texted him something about an argument and his fiancée staying at her parents for a couple of days, Jongdae wants to help and maybe escape for a while from his own mind. 

"Sorry, I know it's late" His hyung welcomes him as soon as he rings the door. "Junmyeon is working and it felt really lonely" 

Jongdae squeezes his shoulder in a reassuring way, tries to convey all his support with a honest stare before walking inside the flat. 

It's dark and quiet even if the TV is turned on, a cup of tea is lying empty on the small coffee table and a few magazines are scattering the floor messily. 

"What happened?" Jongdae asks picking up the magazines.

Minseok sighs, flipping back his already disheveled hair and rubbing at his tired eyes. He looks paler than usual.

"Nothing serious. She wants her wedding to be perfect, wants things we can't afford and is more sensitive about it because the wedding is approaching" He stops for a second, Jongdae sees his adam apple bobs nervously, like he's embarrassed to admit more but eventually goes on "She was angry and it made me nervous so I told her that if she wasn't satisfied we could always call the wedding off. She sprinted out immediately" 

Minseok coughs, sits on the couch and pats the place next to him to invite Jongdae to join him. He's not crying, he looks more done with life than sorry to his girlfriend, that kind of expression when you feel guilty for what you've done but at the same time you also think it's not entirely your fault.

Jongdae puts an arm around his shoulders, rests his head on his arm and inhales his scent. He should be glad of the situation, a quarrel is what he's been waiting for months now, it's his chance to convince Minseok that he would be a better choice. But he can't just look at Minseok and not feel bad for the way he's clearly being hard on himself. He can't have his way inside Minseok's heart acting like a total asshole, so he smiles warmly and helps his hyung relax on the backrest of the couch while stroking his arms to ease the tension. 

"How about a Disney movie? You still have some time left before becoming a full time adult" He chuckles earning a smile from Minseok. 

Maybe he shouldn't feel so at ease playing the best friend role, Jongdae thinks, maybe he should want to kiss Minseok better and not find the right words to cheer him up. Maybe Jongdae shouldn't glance at Junmyeon's room across the hall thinking about how the guy would know exactly what to say.

He presses play on the remote and settles back next to Minseok. The silence isn't bothering, his hyung goes back to cling on his side and Jongdae secretly moves closer to enjoy the warmness. Still, he knows Minseok is waiting for a counseling, he called him for help, to be reassured. It's silly but Jongdae closes his eyes and pretends Minseok is one of _Peter Pan_ radio's listener sending in his concern, he wonders what Suho would say to solve his problem and soon his mouth opens automatically. 

"It's fine to fight over small things hyung. You don't have to be perfect to be happy and I'm sure your fiancée already knows that weddings last a day but marriage lasts forever" He takes a break biting hard onto his lip, scared to ruin everything with what he wants to say next. He can't risk to push Minseok too far.  "She must be very upset over you joking about calling the wedding off, because you might be joking about it.. But if it's true, if it's something you still aren't sure about.. Remember you're not the only one who'll be tied to this marriage" 

Jongdae wipes his palms on the couch, too nervous to look at Minseok and the reaction he may have. He can't let his friend know about the plan or the fact Jongdae still hopes he cancels the wedding, but he does believe the words he said. 

He keeps his eyes on the TV screen so he misses the moment Minseok's lips stir into a weak smile but he sure feels those lips pursing against his cheek right after.

"Thanks, you're the best" Minseok purrs inside his ear before placing his head on Jongdae's shoulder again. 

Jongdae has to bite the inside of his cheeks because he's on the verge of screaming, his face flushes and his head feels so light he's afraid it will fall on its own. Minseok kissed him. 

Minseok feels better because of him. 

He's good to him, to his crush. 

Jongdae can't stop the wave of self confidence that makes him rests his head on top of Minseok's, smiling like an idiot and making him proud and radiant. 

Yes, maybe he doesn't have much time left, but every baby step is bringing him and Minseok closer and he wants to scream that he made it, he reached his very first goal. 

There's a moment when Jongdae has the urge to stand up and run to Junmyeon's room to tell him how he managed to comfort his brother. Junmyeon would be so proud of him. Junmyeon who console people for a living, he would congratulate Jongdae for sure. Junmyeon who suggested the deal and that is now apparently ignoring him. Junmyeon who's at work and not in his room. Junmyeon who wears colorful caps and recommends cheesy songs. Junmyeon who held his hands so carefully. Would.. Would he be happy for Jongdae? 

Jongdae swallows, feeling his heart clench at the thought. Suddenly he realizes his smile is dying down, and with that his enthusiasm too. 

A couple of hours later Minseok has finally decided to call his fiancée and make sure she's fine too. It's also too late for Jongdae to go back home so the elder asks him to spend the night on the couch and then he'll drive him to work the next day, which makes Jongdae thrilled and nervous. 

It's very very dark at night, Minseok doesn't leave a single light on and Jongdae can't sleep because the previous hours have been crazy and stressful and he keeps repeating the kiss in his head. 

The sound of a key turning into its hole makes Jongdae still in his spot.  It's scary to think a thief might be trying to break in, it's even scarier that Jongdae knows well there's no thief and that it's just Junmyeon coming back home.

For all the evening he has quite waited this moment to finally face the guy, he wants to go back to before things got complicated for some unknown reasons, wants to talk with Junmyeon and tell him about all the progresses he made with Minseok.

At the same time he finds that he's completely frozen, limbs tensed and holding his breath in panic. 

The first thought Jongdae has is that if he doesn't make any sound, Junmyeon could not see him and walk straight for his room. Then he thinks that the guy could get mad seeing him on his couch, could think that Jongdae is stalking him or trying to force him to talk or... 

The door is closed with a soft thud and Jongdae slams his eyes shut, trying to even his breath. Yes, in the end pretending to be asleep is the best (and easiest) way to deal with the guy. 

He opens his mouth to look more natural and waits to hear Junmyeon's steps towards his bedroom. He's trying to picture his movements based on the sounds he hears and the more the guy gets close, the most tensed Jongdae feels. He wants to punch himself because he's a coward and really, really wants to talk things out with Junmyeon, kinda wants to look at him straight in the eyes, glances at his handsome features and.. 

"Hyung?" 

Jongdae keeps his eyes closed. Moves on the couch to hide his face on the cushion in what he hopes seem a natural way and in that moment he hears Junmyeon gasps softly. For a moment Jongdae thinks the other is going to wake him up, at least to ask what he's doing at their house in the middle of the night, but then he can hear a shuffling sound and some deep sighs. 

If he was brave enough, that would be the perfect time to open his eyes, even pretending that he just woke up. But Jongdae is still frozen, still scared for some reason, he still has the sensation that Junmyeon would refuse him in some way.

Suddenly there's something brushing his hair and he has to resists the instinct to jump away. 

"Idiot, you'll catch a cold"

The sentence is barely audible but it makes his chest tighten. Jongdae has no time to register what's happening before the blanket is pulled over his shoulders and Junmyeon makes his way out of the room.

Jongdae hears the footsteps, the door cracking open and then being closed.

He can finally relax, open his eyes and welcome the still dark ceiling and silent walls.

But why is the voice in his head so loud, why is he thinking about the two doors just a few meters away from him, the short distance separating him from both Minseok and Junmyeon.

Why is he not sure which door he wants to open?

  
  


“Hey, why are you so nervous?”

Minseok is spacing out again, sips his burning-hot coffee like it’s iced americano and Jongdae waves a hand in front of him to be sure he’s coming back to their conversation. Suddenly Minseok jumps down the desk and throws a few coins inside the vending machine in the break room.

“Are you free after work?” He asks handing Jongdae a snack, almost like a bribe.

“I guess so” The younger replies.

“Come with me then, i have a wedding try on party to attend”

Jongdae wants to decline so badly, everything but seeing the groom and the bride together in their wedding dresses, but he’s an amazing friend and accepts.

They get to the venue soon after work ends. The store is pretty, small and cosy, with many gowns and suits displayed neatly on the racks. It’s also very white and a strong flowery perfume is impregnating Jongdae’s clothes.

At first glance he notices that not many people are crowding the small area dedicated to Minseok, in fact there’s no trace of the bride but he can see Minseok’s mother pacing the floor with many ties and jackets hanging on her arm. His father is sitting on a bench with a tired face, the kind of face you see in almost every man inside a shopping center, but he’s also weighting two slightly different bow ties in his hand, probably trying to understand if the color is, indeed, different.

“Minseok, finally, I thought you had forgotten” Minseok’s mom wails.

Yes, wails. Because the way she talks with a hand wiping her already dried forehead is nothing but unnecessarily dramatic.

“Mom, this is my friend Jongdae. He came for support” Jongdae bows politely, showing a big smile. After all she could be his future in law.

The woman for her part reaches out pinching Jongdae’s cheek like he’s a toddler.

“We need all the help possible. Now son, I’ve asked to get your suit ready inside” She slaps her face dramatically again, gesturing towards the curtains of the fitting room “if you’ll ever get to enter, we’re taking forever here”

For his first meeting with Minseok’s parents Jongdae has to admit he’s not feeling pressured, despite the pinch that still tingles his cheek, but he thought he would be more nervous. Which is good, because when he’s nervous Jongdae starts to blabber and give no good impression in general. With Minseok too, the atmosphere is calm and nice, he feels like he can relax for a while and just forget about how he should be sad that his friend brought him along to a wedding try on since his very goal is to not let the wedding happen at all. But today he isn’t Jongdae the future boyfriend, he’s only Jongdae the best man.

“Oh my.. Dear! Are you not done yet!?” Minseok’s mom screams at the curtain.

For some reason Jongdae does connect that she must be talking with someone, but when the curtain is slid apart he’s completely taken aback.

A shiver runs down his spine.

“Junmyeon it suits you perfectly!” Minseok’s mom cries out, almost sobs. Then she turns to her husband with sparkling eyes “Honey, isn’t he handsome? Doesn’t it make him look radiant?”

“Yes” It’s the simple answer of the man, who seems to get more tired at every second.

It’s Junmyeon. Junmyeon in a blue suit and white shirt, with hair slicked back and his usual pale skin that literally glows under the neon lights.

It’s just Junmyeon but he and Junmyeon hasn’t met for a few weeks and he is so sure that the man is avoiding him so.. yes. It’s just Junmyeon but he’s petrified and scared.  And also charmed because Junmyeon is really handsome, his mom is right.

The woman shoves Minseok inside the fitting room and starts complaining about how her son should stop drinking because his tummy is starting to stick out, making everyone laughs.  It’s on that moment that Junmyeon’s eyes land on his. Jongdae is frozen, he doesn’t know what to do, what to ask, how to break the ice. There’s something, there’s definitely something between them, some unspoken fact that it’s so obvious they have to clarify, but he can’t make a move.

Junmyeon doesn’t look mad, maybe a bit awkward, but it’s clear how the silence between them is starting to weight and the pause is starting to last for too long. Before Jongdae can even think about something to say, Junmyeon smiles.

“Hi” He mimics. Like nothing is wrong, like they simply met at the store and he hasn’t been avoiding Jongdae for the last three weeks. It makes Jongdae feel stupid and angry at himself because maybe he really overreacted and Junmyeon has only been genuinely busy but it doesn’t make sense. No, Junmyeon was avoiding him, he’s sure so why is he smiling and saying ‘hi’?

“Hi” He mimics back, not trusting his voice.

Junmyeon smiles wider, the bastard. He almost says something but his mother is back on track pulling him for the hems of his jacket.

“Dear, I told you blue would suit you the best!”

“I don’t know mom, Minseok wants me to wear a red tie, I think the grey one is still better”

The woman's face turns immediately dark, with a hint of disappointment. Jongdae thinks that he would feel bad if his mother looked at him in that way.

“Do you always have to do the opposite of what i suggest you? Seems like you’re doing it on purpose” She whispers, glancing around to be sure no one can hear.

Jongdae sucks in his breath. He suddenly remembers the night at the pub with the two brothers, how he and Junmyeon had talked about his parents and how he repeated a couple of times that they hated him. At that time Jongdae didn’t believe him, but now, seeing the woman shaking his head for a silly thing like the color of a suit, he reconsiders. 

Junmyeon keeps silent for a moment, staring at his image in the mirror, dusting off his shirt and turning around almost like he’s trying to convince himself that he likes the blue suit too. Minseok in the meantime has peeked out of the curtain to see what happened, looking concerned for his brother as expected. The two brothers always have each other’s back.

“Maybe you should try the grey one again” He suggests gaining a weird look from his mother.

While Junmyeon gets back into the fitting room with Minseok, Jongdae is left alone with their parents and with his thoughts.

He’s mad at the woman, he knows he can’t butt in family’s quarrels, but it hurts him to see how Junmyeon is being treated, even more since Junmyeon isn't doing it on purpose but because he simply has different taste.

The curtain is being dragged again revealing both Minseok and Junmyeon in their outfits. The elder has a black smoking matching a crisp white shirt, classical and elegant but is enough to make Jongdae's eyes light up. But it's Junmyeon that steals his breath. The guy has only changed into a dark grey tuxedo with a burgundy belt adorning his waist, a hand inside his pocket because he's a cool guy, or at least he tries to be, and around his neck there's the tie Minseok gifted him. 

Junmyeon not only look beautiful, he looks confident, satisfied, like he's ready to get married himself. 

"Definitely the blue one" His mother quickly retorts with a flat tone, coughing right after to (unsuccessfully) hide her disapproval. 

"I think they both suit you brother"

Junmyeon gives Minseok a thankful smile and then he's turning to Jongdae with a lifted brow. 

It takes him by surprise because, wow, he's really hot in a suit and it's also very hot in there. Of course Minseok is hot too, but, wow. 

Suddenly he realizes everyone is looking at him and expecting him to give his opinion, it's pressuring since he wants to make a good impression on Minseok's parents but at the same time he hates how they're imposing their decisions on their youngest. Minseok's mother has her eyebrows lifted so high she seems to scream 'agree with me or don't talk at all', which is scaring Jongdae to death and he would definitely go for that if it wasn't for the sincere stare Junmyeon is giving him, like he doesn't care if Jongdae sides with him, he only wants his friend to be honest. Junmyeon eyes him in anticipation almost shy, because he truly care about Jongdae's opinion. And that is nice. He doesn't know why but it feels nice. 

"Grey is amazing" He says hearing the woman beside him hiss "you look truly handsome" 

The flow of complaints that follows his words are completely ignored when Jongdae sees Junmyeon flush and avert his eyes, which makes him flush and avert his eyes too at the thought the other could be embarrassed by his comment. 

He's so stupid, he only wanted to give him a compliment but you don't just call handsome someone you've hold hands with at the cinema and.. _God, really Jongdae?? The cinema again?? When will you stop reading too much into things? _

"I think I'll buy it" Junmyeon declares in the end, holding back a proud smile. 

Jongdae nods and tries to shake off the thought Junmyeon is buying a suit after he recommended it. 

"Jongdae why don't you try it too? Since I gave you both a tie wouldn't it be nice if you two came with the same dress?" 

Jongdae grimaces at his hyung, resisting the need to pout because he's a grown man and he doesn't pout. But of course he can't say no to Minseok and ten minutes later he finds himself inside the fitting room struggling with the waist belt and the tie. He almost shrieks when the curtain moves and Minseok enters the cabin while Jongdae has his pants not buttoned yet, a scene that has been the beginning of many of his wet dreams, but right now he only feels like praying the earth would eat him whole. Minseok doesn't look bothered at all, he has this smirk on his face that tells nothing good and at the same time manages to calm down the younger seeing how his hyung isn't interested in his unbuttoned pants at all (wait, maybe that should be depressing). 

"You need help with the tie? You look really good Jongdae" 

"Ah, thanks" He wants to say more, that he didn't have to go inside the cabin to begin with or that Minseok looks really good too and that he will probably make every person at the wedding fall for him. His words never get the chance to come out. 

"You know" Minseok goes on, smacking his lips together a bit too amused. There's a glint in his eyes that tries to convey a message Jongdae is failing to receive. "Junmyeon thinks you look good too" 

Jongdae jolts, his heart with him. Why would Minseok say something like that. Is it even true? Ah ah ah no, it's probably not Junmyeon hasn't seen him yet how could he say.. or maybe he meant in a general way? Junmyeon thinks he looks good in a general prospective where the guy is only stating a fact and not making a compliment. No need to panic or feel like suffocating, right? In any case he shouldn't be suffocating, or maybe yes, because his fly is still fucking down and Minseok is managing his tie while his fly is down and a glimpse of his boxer can be seen. Definitely not because Junmyeon might have said or not (most likely not) that he finds Jongdae handsome. 

The blush comes again, unwelcomed. Jongdae hates his life. 

"I'm done" Minseok says letting go of the tie and patting his shoulder before pulling the curtain for him, barely letting the younger enough time to zip his fly. 

Jongdae tries very hard to look casual, to glance at everywhere but where he feels Junmyeon staring at him. Of course he's not staring, he's just observing because he came out of a fitting room and they're supposed to be judging Jongdae's outfit so it's not a big deal if Junmyeon watches. 

But then Jongdae dares a glance towards the guy, curses under his breath when he feels his cheeks warm at the way he's looking at him. Junmyeon scans his figure from head to toe a couple of time, his mouth mutters a few words that Jongdae can't quite decipher, then gives a thumb up squinting his eyes like he can't miss any detail of Jongdae. 

Minseok is praising him for his look, smoothing the fabric down the jacket and cooing like a mother on his son's first prom. Despite all, Jongdae still can't tear his eyes off Junmyeon, who seems to have the same problem. 

It's not until Minseok's mother coughs that Jongdae finally snaps out of his trance and almost gags at how awkward and stupid and idiotic he is. 

"You need to buy it too Jongdae" Minseok pleas taking a step back to admire him "I want you and Junmyeon to wear couple suits for my wedding" 

At that both him and Junmyeon splutter out a '_what??_' and Minseok laughs his ass off. 

He decides to join his friend with a laugh because he's almost going hysterical thinking about Junmyeon and couple suits and a _non-date_ and who thinks who is handsome. 

Before he can die of overthinking, Jongdae takes the jacket off. 

"It's a bit pricey, I think I'll keep looking" 

Minseok whines but the matter is soon forgotten when a tailor comes to make the last adjustments on his dress. Jongdae changes and waits for Minseok to finish his try on party with the grey tuxedo still hanging on his arm. 

He's aware of Junmyeon's presence beside him, but he almost misses the soft touch on his elbow when the latter comes closer and tugs at his shirt. Carefully, polite but also in his usual friendly attitude that he has always had around Jongdae. He's smiling, happy and relaxed as he's always been. He's the same Junmyeon he learnt to appreciate, that he wanted to become friend with.  He's talking softly, throwing jokes here and there, giggling and lightening up the mood so that Jongdae forgets for a moment of all the doubts, the days spent wondering if anything had changed.

No matter how Jongdae is struggling to understand the weird feelings stirring in his chest, Junmyeon never crosses the line. 

"My brother's right though, it suits you. You should buy it" Junmyeon says out of the blue, pointing at the dress in Jongdae's hand. It's a simple and innocent comment, one Junmyeon shrugs off right after.

Jongdae stares at it uncertainty. 

It's still pricey. 

But he's pathetic and he ends up buying it anyway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all, congratulation Jongdae!  
I hope the news didn't drain fans of suchen feels because i'm really resolute in finishing this story and i will still love them just as much.  
As always i'm thankful to everyone who comments and leaves kudos, also to whoever reads and waits all the time for my lazy ass to be productive TT ♥


	8. the theme park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jongdae's special day goes a little different than he planned

The alarm goes off as any other morning, but today Jongdae knows something’s different. It’s in the way he can hear Yixing singing in the kitchen, the smell of coffee, his phone softly vibrating with new messages every minute. It’s the beginning of autumn which also means…

Someone knocks on the door. Yixing doesn’t wait to be invited before slipping in with a mug in his hands.

“Good morning sweetie” The guy has a warm smile on his lips, his hair are ruffled and he’s still wearing his pajama. He can see how tired his roommate’s eyes are, remembers suddenly that Yixing just came back from his night shift and is standing now in front of him with breakfast instead of taking his well-deserved rest.

Jongdae rubs his sleep away and pats the mattress to welcome Yixing on it, he’s feeling so grateful that his friend took time to make him coffee but it only adds on the special atmosphere of the day.

“Thanks, you didn’t have to” Jongdae says accepting the coffee.

“I don’t have a present” His roommate scratches the back of his head biting his lip in a timid way almost expecting Jongdae to be mad at him. He could never.

“I don’t need one”

For a moment Yixing’s eyes dart towards the door, then he lays a hand on Jongdae’s shoulder and squeezes it softly. They don’t say much more, Jongdae sips his coffee, lets the strong aroma burn his throat and finds pleasure in the way Yixing has rested his head on his shoulder. When Jongdae gulps down the last bit of his drink Yixing jumps up and makes sure to retrieve the mug from his friend’s hands because in no way Jongdae is doing chores today.

Before Yixing can go back to his morning routine, Jongdae stops him at the door “Really, thanks hyung”

Yixing smiles more “Happy birthday Jongdae”

It’s the first ‘happy birthday’ of the day and it makes Jongdae flutters in half joy and half embarrassment, wondering how many people will remember or if his coworkers have arranged something for lunch or if Minseok will buy him lunch despite his busy schedule for the wedding.

He hasn’t realized Yixing is still standing at his door until the elder clears his voice and points at the hall.

“Just for your information, I don’t have a present, but there’s a surprise in the kitchen” The guy lifts both eyebrows in a suggestive way “I found him trying to sneak in the elevator when I came home”

Jongdae’s heart skips a beat for no real reason, he has no idea what Yixing is talking about but his legs are quicker than his brain when he finds himself skidding through his apartment still in his pajama. There’s, in fact, someone sitting at the kitchen table with a coffee-to-go cup in front of him and sunglasses on despite being in an indoor place. Jongdae swallows painfully. He can’t believe what he’s seeing, he must be dreaming.

It’s not because the guy is sitting in  _ his _ kitchen looking very domestic and at home, like he’s made to sit there, like he’s owning the place. It’s because it can’t be a coincidence, and that means the guy knows, or better, remembers his birthday and Jongdae isn’t ready to face the fact he not only remembered but also came all the way to his place for… for what?

He knows he probably looks stupid frozen in his feet, mouth slightly open still trying to figure out what to say but he.. well, he’s stupid, he’s just stupid and so he fucks up.

“I thought you were avoiding me”

It’s definitely not what he wanted to say but it’s also true that the situation between them has been quite tensed in the past weeks and Jongdae honestly has yet to figure out where they actually stand. Most of all, Jongdae is trying very hard to ignore how fast his heart is beating, how his mind is clouded with thoughts of why is Junmyeon there, why is Junmyeon always where he least expect him to be. Where he kind of wants him to be.

Jongdae shakes his head to focus on reality and completely, totally, aggressively erase the last thought from his mind.

“Ah!” Junmyeon spins on the chair and stands up taking his obnoxious pink baseball cap off and lighting up at the view of the younger. “Happy birthday”

Jongdae has the instinct to turn back and storm off his room. He hates this, hates the way his body reacts, how his chest constricts and leaves him breathless whenever Junmyeon does something nice. Hates that Junmyeon held his hands and never said they’re friends after that, hates that he needs to hear him say they’re friends because it’s just so confusing. And again he wishes Minseok hadn’t joke about Junmyeon finding him handsome and above all he simply wants his friend back and wants to stop panicking and fall into an angsty inner monologue every time the guy shows up.

Yixing resumes his dishwashing job giving small attention to the two guys but making a wide gesture towards Junmyeon. 

“He’s funny, I can see why you always talk about him”

And now Jongdae is doomed.

Junmyeon blinks in surprise, not in a weirded out way, more like he’s refraining from asking if it’s true. It’s not. Jongdae doesn’t always talk about him. Only some times. A rightful amount of times.

He tries to change subject, scared to know which other lies Yixing has told Junmyeon while he was sleeping. 

"What are you doing here?" Jongdae manages to ask in the end.

"Picking you up, we're going to celebrate" 

It’s absurd. As much as it’s a very Junmyeon-thing to do, Jongdae can’t stop thinking that the guy is there for him, and not because they need to plan a date with Minseok or to discuss about the wedding, Junmyeon visited him to wish him happy birthday, to surprise him. Junmyeon is there and his brother isn’t.

Yeah, he do realize it isn’t that disconcerting but no friend before has ever done anything like this for him and somehow it only grows his doubts, makes him wonder what Junmyeon felt when he decided to pay a visit. But it’s also true that just because Jongdae’s friend never planned a surprise birthday for him it doesn’t mean it’s something friends don’t do, nor he wishes Junmyeon had other intentions. He’s glad, in fact, that his friend is there.

“I have work in half an hour, we can’t celebrate” It comes out almost like a whine and even Yixing pauses his work to roll his eyes and give his roommate a disapproval look. But it’s true, it’s a monday and he left some work behind. Not to mention how he’s unwilling to give up on the birthday benefit his coworkers usually provide- free snacks.

Junmyeon scrunches his nose and grunts. Jongdae is sure the boy is one second away from mocking him for being a party pooper, for some reason he feels the urge to hit him on the head and that’s it, that’s when he feels his limbs relax and Junmyeon starts chuckling for no reason. Yixing shakes his head like he's lost hope on the two and Jongdae whines again, suddenly at ease seeing Junmyeon acting so comfortable around him.

It’s weird how Junmyeon makes him feel, like he’s trying hard to fix what happened between them but at the same time reminding Jongdae that there’s nothing to fix. They’re Junmyeon and Jongdae who always mock each other, who like to spend time with each other because they have a common goal, and now Junmyeon is telling him to loosen up and have a happy birthday, to forget about the wedding for a day and just have fun with a friend.

Jongdae’s chest still clenches a bit when Junmyeon smiles, but as long as the elder looks so natural, he knows he doesn’t have to worry.

“I talked with Minseok who called your boss and now you have a day off!” Junmyeon looks very proud of his plan while he picks up his phone and shows Jongdae the text his brother sent with his boss’ words. Jongdae on the other hand is left shocked realizing what Junmyeon did, how the guy planned through all this just for his birthday. He’s almost stuttering when he asks “But why? Where are we going?”

“Is it too clichèd if I say ‘you’ll see’?”

Yixing has long stopped pretending he isn’t eavesdropping their conversation and is now smiling subtly. He definitely knows something.

Jongdae wants to complain, to insists he has work and that he doesn’t know if he needs to wear something nice or formal, wants to ask more, to tell Junmyeon he didn’t have to plan something and that he’s thankful enough for the visit. But then Junmyeon is looking straight at him and he doesn’t say a word but his eyes are pleading, almost squinting, that Jongdae has no heart to decline.

In one last attempt to find out their destination he sighs and rubs his temples faking a headache. “At least give me a hint”

A soft blush runs across Junmyeon’s face, only for a moment.

“It’s a place you were supposed to visit today”

Now Jongdae is even more confused.

Junmyeon drives all the way to Sincheon and it's not until he sees the first sign with the colorful logo that Jongdae realizes where they're directed. 

"What the fuck Junmyeon!?" 

It comes out naturally and a bit whiney but it's definitely not where he expected to be instead of his office in a work day, at his age. But then it crosses his mind, the real reason why Junmyeon took him there and suddenly it's the only place he wants to visit. 

Jongdae starts laughing, very loud, hitting the dashboard to emphasize how funny he finds that they're indeed in such place and trying to push back the thought Junmyeon remembered yet another useless detail of his life that even he had forgotten. That's how thoughtful he is. Junmyeon always remembers and always makes Jongdae feels so special and appreciated and cared for. It's incredible how he feels so alive in this situation, it's like he can trust his own life in Junmyeon's hands and no matter how childish it can be, his friend will always do what's best for him so that Jongdae can enjoy every moment.

Junmyeon grins glancing at the other for a moment "I know Minseok was supposed to bring you here but with the honeymoon booked in a couple of weeks he can't afford any day off" 

It's okay, Jongdae thinks. He closes his eyes for a moment and lingers in the sensation of freedom and excitement that overwhelms his body. It's his birthday, he skipped work and is about to have the day of his life. No time to sulk or complain, not when the company is, after all, just fine. More than fine.

He also doesn't point out how Junmyeon talked about the wedding like something that is bound to happen, like they aren't trying to stop the event, for the first time. 

"Minseok texted me happy birthday" Jongdae says with his eyes still closed. It's a casual thought, something he feels like to say and it leaves a small smile on his lips. Yeah, Minseok texted him, he didn't forget about his birthday and that is enough. Jongdae finds that a simple text is enough.

It's crazy but he doesn't care, because it's his birthday and Junmyeon took him on a trip and for some reason Minseok doesn't fit in it, Minseok fits in a birthday text absentmindedly sent during coffee breaks, but when it comes to this.. when he opens his eyes, it's Junmyeon that he wants to see. 

And when he opens them, he's there, throwing glances at Jongdae and gifting the boy with warm smiles and kind eyes. 

Since it's his birthday, Jongdae decides he can let his heart do somersaults and his mind wander about what it would feel to stretch his hand and touch Junmyeon's again.

And then, as Junmyeon enters the parking lot of _ Lotte World** _ , Jongdae also decides that for today he wants to indulge every one of his emotions.

After the initial shock of colors and music and kids running everywhere and couple walking hand in hand, Jongdae is sitting on a bench struggling with the map to find the best rides inside and outside the park. He feels like a child getting hyped over 4D movies and rollercoasters, but everything is so majestic that after an hour he's still in awe at how big the ice rink is and  _ oh my god hyung we have to try the flume ride _ and  _ no junmyeon you ain't buying me an animal headband _ . 

They end up queuing for every attraction Jongdae shows interest in, chatting to kill time and taking selcas they send to Minseok. Junmyeon buys Jongdae a ‘birthday churros’ and when the latter isn’t paying attention he manages to stick a giraffe headband on him. Jongdae won’t ever admit that it is indeed cute, it’s even cuter the frog headband he forces Junmyeon to buy for himself.

His stomach starts to grumble mid day while they’re exploring the outdoor park and Junmyeon is busy taking aesthetic photos of the magic castle.

“Let’s go grab something to eat” Junmyeon says while still crouching to take the best picture at the perfect angle.

“What did you say? You want to treat me to a birthday meal? It’s so kind of you, shall I accept?”

Junmyeon snickers and watches Jongdae from below, shaking his head lightly.

“You talk like I wouldn’t treat you anyway”

Jongdae is almost tempted to stick out his tongue but stops when Junmyeon grabs his hand and pulls at him.

“Help me stand up, I’m old”

A thrill runs down Jongdae’s spine when he feels Junmyeon’s hand tightens around his, memories of warmness and soft skin cloud his mind while he drags his friend on his feet. He shamelessly squeeze Junmyeon’s hand pretending he’s only helping the other but can’t hide  the disappoint look when Junmyeon pulls back to dust his pants off. It’s not like Jongdae expected the boy to walk him back indoor holding hands, but the huge amount of couples around them is making him feel a bit alone. Suddenly he thinks of what would happen if he asked Junmyeon to pretend, to take pictures together, wear matching headbands and buy him sweets. Would Junmyeon agree? Would he indulge another birthday wish?

Junmyeon, for his part, flicks his forehead and smiles “Let’s go?”

And then it hits him. Jongdae barely nods, feeling a big lump getting stuck in his throat. He observes Junmyeon’s figure, the way he turns every ten seconds to make sure Jongdae is following, how he’s asking which fast food he wanna try.

They  _ are  _ acting like a couple. Jongdae knows they’re only friend but from the outside they must be looking like one of the many couple in the park and it’s all because Junmyeon is trying to second his plans. The real question is, has Junmyeon realized too? Jongdae knows deep inside that he has. He’s insisted to pay for everything and it’s simply very Junmyeon-like to please people around him without caring what others may think. But if he has noticed, does it mean he’s okay with it?

Because now that Jongdae can see it, he- he doesn’t want to stop. He’s having fun and his heart is racing in a positive way, he doesn’t remember when's the last time he felt so light-hearted. It’s only for a few more hours anyway, he knows the moment they walk out the park everything will go back as usual.

And that’s fine, Jongdae repeats to himself. It’s fine.

Junmyeon’s hand bumps against his while swinging in between their bodies. It seems a bit forced, like Junmyeon did it on purpose even though Jongdae knows too well it’s only in his imagination but for a moment he almost reaches out to brush his fingers when Junmyeon comes to a halt.  Jongdae stops seeing the guy go rigid and following his gaze until he notices a person a few meters away watching their way. He’s about to ask Junmyeon if something’s wrong when said boy widens his eyes and starts waving.

“Junmyeonie hyung!”

Said boy bounces his way towards them, holding a black backpack and some unidentified tools that look pretty heavy. He must be around their age, maybe a little younger and as soon as he stands in front of them Jongdae feels a sudden surge of jealousy rise inside him.

Not only this guy is extremely handsome and tall, with body proportions that show God has its favorites, Jongdae isn’t jealous of his stunning appearance and perfect jawline, but of the way Junmyeon is looking at him. 

He has never seen Junmyeon like this, with his mouth slightly open and lips trembling, almost as if he’s unable to pronounce this guy’s name, with eyes sad but also nostalgic and also guilty. He takes courage and grabs Junmyeon’s hand, but this time because he feels that it’s the right thing to do, to give him some strength, because for some reason Junmyeon seems broken and at the same time reassured by this guy’s presence and he doesn’t know what else to do.

It’s clear that they have a past and maybe that’s what bothers Jongdae, that once again he realizes how little he knows of Junmyeon. That no matter how important the elder became to him, Junmyeon will never look at him like he’s his everything.

And once again Jongdae has to remind himself that it’s fine, it’s okay because they’re only friends.

“Hyung, I can’t believe it’s you” The guy says with a big smile.

Junmyeon nods and for a moment Jongdae thinks that his friend needs a help to snap out the trance so he tightens the hold on his hand and finally sees him react.

What he doesn’t expect is for Junmyeon to suddenly leave his side and throw himself into the guy’s arms, making him drop his backpack and tools.

Time freezes, for some reason. Jongdae isn’t sure why he feels like something very fragile just broke in million pieces, somewhere, somehow.

Junmyeon is embracing this guy as if he’s embracing all the wrong choices he took in his life and the way he’s clasping his arms screams  _ i’m sorry _ , the way he’s digging his head in his shoulder asks  _ please, forgive me _ . There’s still a smile on the guy’s face, but it’s weaker and pitiful while he strokes Junmyeon’s back showing that he understands and that it’s not his fault.

Jongdae is still standing a few feets behind. Alone, useless, oblivious. He wants to turn away, to give them their privacy and at the same time he’s unable to, he finds that his feet are glued to the floor and his eyes fixed on the scene. It’s hard to see his friend in that state, it’s even harder to know he can’t be of any help. Because he’s not part of Junmyeon’s life, not like this guy is.

He can’t make out the words coming from Junmyeon but he hears the other guy chuckle and replying softly “I missed you too”

Jongdae knows he shouldn’t stay, it’s obvious that they have a lot to catch up with their lives but it’s also his birthday and Junmyeon drove him there, so he’s stuck in that place anyway.

“I’m sorry” Junmyeon disentangles from the guy and turns his way, his features seem more relaxed now “Jongdae this is Sehun. Sehun, Jongdae”

_Sehun_. He has never heard of this name before.

Sehun holds out his hand and Jongdae unwillingly takes it. He doesn’t say anything, only forces a small smile and goes back to throw glances at Junmyeon who is all eyes for this Sehun.

“What are you doing here?” His friend asks.

Sehun lifts his backpack and what Jongdae finally see is a spotlight, points back behind him to a group of people talking and handling other similar tools “Working”

The surprise is big in Junmyeon’s face. For a moment he simply widens his mouth but soon he burst out in grins.

“Wait, you did it? You became a director?”

“A screenwriter, actually. For now. And a really minor one. Let’s say I’m more of a helper”

Junmyeon laughs, genuinely laughs hitting Sehun’s arm, his face shows how proud he is of his achievement and Jongdae wonders what’s so big about screenwriters, being an accountant can be fun too.

“You know what hyung, when I saw you I thought I was mistaking someone else but then I noticed this” Sehun caressed the fur of Junmyeon’s headband “and I just knew it was you. An old man wearing a frog, must be Junmyeonie hyung”

There are so many things Jongdae wants to say, firstly that he was the one that choose the frog and that it’s only a joke, that it’s his birthday and Junmyeon bought animal headbands to make Jongdae laugh and whine about how childish he is, not for Sehun to make fun of him. He keeps quiet because he knows he’s overreacting and that Sehun and Junmyeon are probably close enough to use that kind of humor with each other. Of course he feels left out while they talk about their life, when Sehun rests a hand on Junmyeon’s shoulder with so much affection or when Junmyeon seems so happy he probably forgot about him, but he shoves the thought off.

When Junmyeon finally goes back to him Jongdae almost has the instinct to finch away, though he’s mature enough to clench his teeth and stay put.

“It’s actually Jongdae’s birthday, we’re- uhm- here to celebrate”

Sehun turns to Jongdae with a sheepish smile “I’m sorry if I bothered your special day, I just haven’t seen hyung in a very long time”

“Ah it’s okay” Jongdae replies even if it’s really not. He doesn’t want to be selfish, it’s not even because they’ve been standing in the same spot for over fifteen minutes now. He simply wants to go back to his plan, with Junmyeon and him alone.

“Are you free? We were actually going to have lunch, come join us”

Jongdae tries to keep calm even if it’s really hard when Junmyeon is doing everything to make his birthday the worst day of the year. He stays silent, again, letting the wave of rage fade little by little. It’s unfair, Junmyeon knows it’s his special day, he should have at least asked if he was okay with Sehun joining them. Junmyeon who’s always taken care of everyone and only needs a glance to know what’s happening, now seems blinded by this Sehun guy. Still, Jongdae has no guts to voice his feelings. In his head he’s strong enough to tell Junmyeon he’s uncomfortable and that he wants to leave either with or without him and in his head Junmyeon decides to follow, because Sehun may have been in his past, but Jongdae’s in his present. He finds it poetic and lame and a total bullshit. Junmyeon has never looked at him like he’s looking at Sehun, and that speaks volume.

Jongdae wonders when he started to care.

“That would be amazing, let me make a quick call” Sehun turns busing himself with his phone.

When Junmyeon finally throws him a glance, he has a small excited smile painted on his face and Jongdae hates it. It’s relaxed, satisfied, almost as if asking him if he’s happy that they met Sehun. Well, he’s not. Jongdae may be selfish and childish but he’s not happy that Sehun has this effect on Junmyeon, he’s not happy that Junmyeon wants to spend Jongdae’s birthday with Sehun and in no way he’s happy to feel so conflicted about the situation. It’s not Minseok they’re talking about so why does his mind react like that?

Who even is this Sehun and where he comes from?

His whole body tells him it’s not a good idea to ask, but he has to know, he needs to know why Junmyeon looks so fond of that guy. While Sehun is still on the phone, Jongdae gestures towards him, catches Junmyeon attention and mouths “ _ Who’s he? _ ”

Junmyeon makes sure Sehun isn’t watching and then mouths back two simple words “ _ Ex boyfriend _ ”

Jongdae swallows. It’s not like he didn’t expect it but it still sends jolts running down his arms. He pretends he doesn’t feel hopeless, that he’s okay with it, reminds himself he has no reason to feel otherwise.

“I’m ready” Sehun informs clasping his hand together.

Jongdae doesn’t feel like eating anymore. He’s about to say how he won’t third wheel their date, when Junmyeon runs next to him and takes his hand out of the blue, without hesitating. He simply laces their hands together, interweaving their fingers like it’s natural, something they’re used to do. And when Jongdae looks up, Junmyeon is looking at him. This time his eyes are only for him and they’re not sad, or regretful, they’re thankful and bright and beautiful.

“Thank you” Junmyeon’s voice is so sincere it almost makes Jongdae emotional.

Of course he knows. Jongdae has been a stupid to think the other wouldn’t notice. Junmyeon knows about his discomfort and he’s grateful to Jongdae for bearing with it. It hits him in that moment, that he doesn’t want to be someone Junmyeon looks at with sorrow.

Jongdae doesn’t like that Junmyeon is happy with Sehun, but Junmyeon is happy. Junmyeon deserves happiness, that’s all really matters.

Jongdae can endure it.

They have lunch in a chinese themed restaurant with pandas and tigers drawn all over the walls. Jongdae doesn’t have much appetite but he twirls his food around the plate for the sake of appearance.

Sehun hasn’t stopped talking about his life for a second, asking both Junmyeon and Jongdae easy questions and appearing truly interested in their answers. It’s better than Jongdae thought, he’s still a bit out of place but Junmyeon has been keeping a hand on his thigh since the food arrived and it both makes Jongdae feel reassured and drives him in full panic mode.

“So, how did you two meet?” Sehun asks while chomping on his dumplings.

It’d be embarrassing to tell the true story of their meeting and Junmyeon must agree with him because the guy his sending worried glances from his side. It’s like he’s trying to tell him something with his eyes but Jongdae doesn’t understand and decides that it’s better to keep it vague.

“We met through his brother”

It seems that it isn’t the right answer as Junmyeon squeezes his thigh hard below the table and Sehun accidentally drops his food from the chopsticks. 

“Ahh! Really?” Sehun holds his eyes low on the plate and his smile looks tensed for the first time although he’s trying to keep it cool. Jongdae thinks it’s weird and when he turns to silently ask Junmyeon about it he notices the latter is somehow more stiff too.

“How’s Minseok doing?” Jongdae also finds weird that Sehun didn’t use the proper honorific but, again, it’s not like he knows how close the boy was to the Kim family.

“Fine” Comes Junmyeon reply, short and a little cold.

Jongdae thinks he might be missing something seeing how the atmosphere has changed, but they’re finally talking about a topic he feels rather confident about, so if Junmyeon isn’t going to talk, he will.

“More than fine, he’s getting married”

Once again Junmyeon squeezes his thigh very hard and Jongdae slaps away his hand, turning to question if there’s any problem but Junmyeon only looks at him with pleading eyes. The point is that Jongdae can’t understand what he’s pleading for.

“I see” Sehun's chuckle comes out a bit humorless “My invitation must have gone lost”

Junmyeon holds out a hand on the table, tries to reach for the guy “Sehun..” and suddenly he’s hurt again, guilty again, still craving Sehun’s forgiveness, but for what?

Sehun shoos him away, quickly changing subject.

“How long have you been dating?”

It's so sudden that Jongdae almost chokes on his rice. Did he really say _dating_?

When he turns and faces Junmyeon, his friend is just as pale as him, trying to find the right words to deny. It’s absurd that Sehun thought they were dating, because they’re not. And they never said they were, why would he think they’re dating?

Did he wish they were? Or better, that they weren’t? Maybe it’s just a trick to find out if he still stands a chance with Junmyeon. And why isn’t Junmyeon answering?

“I-” Junmyeon tries but stops mid sentence and stares at Jongdae like he expects him to continue.

Jongdae blushes. He’s an idiot and he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say, because they’re only friends and he doesn’t understand why Junmyeon isn’t telling Sehun. It’s not hard, or maybe.. it is? Because it seems like he can’t pronounce those words too.

Sehun is waiting with an amused expression that Jongdae finds annoying and if Junmyeon isn’t going to answer he has no other choice.

He knows it’s stupid but he does it anyway, and apparently Junmyeon gains his voice back in the exact second because they end up giving out their replies at the same time.

“For a while”

“Not much”

Jongdae bites his lips, grinning widely. He can’t believe Junmyeon said that, he was so ready to apologize and say that he was kidding but Junmyeon really played the same game. And there he is, trying to hold back his laugh just as Jongdae, probably thinking that they’re both silly and pathetic but Junmyeon is pretending, has been for the whole day. Jongdae knows it’s fake and that Junmyeon doesn’t believe it, but the next time he stares at Junmyeon he can see a soft flush on his cheeks, he sees the same doubts and question that he has.  _ What is this? Why are we doing this? _

It’s scary, for some reason, but it makes something stir in Jongdae’s stomach. Something he can’t figure out yet.

Sehun doesn’t seem to believe them but he doesn’t question either and the lunch comes to an end when the boy is called back at work. They bid goodbye to Sehun, Junmyeon takes his time hugging the boy like he’s afraid he won’t be able to do it again and this time Jongdae turns his back at them, both to give them privacy and to reminds his heart that Junmyeon has all the right to hug whoever he wants.

Still, when Sehun waves at them far enough, Jongdae finds he’s sighing out of relief.

Junmyeon follows him with his eyes until Sehun can’t be seen anymore and then he takes a big breath, as if he’s ready to go back to a life without Sehun, a life that won’t have him smile in the same bright way.

Jongdae’s heart clenches watching him like this, realizes how selfish he’s been for the entire day. He thinks that once they’re out of the park, he will still have Minseok, but Junmyeon?

It’s hard and every muscles in his body screams to stop and mind his own business, but Junmyeon helped him too much to be a shitty friend.

“You should follow him. I can take a cab”

Junmyeon rubs his tired eyes and looks at him in confusion. Jongdae swallows the knot that has formed in his throat.

“Sehun, I can see how much you miss him. You should date again”

He doesn’t know why his heart hammers so fast in his chest, lately he doesn’t know many things.

When Junmyeon’s face turns even darker he hopes that he hasn’t gone too far, holds up his hands to apologize but right after the guy closes his eyes and grunts incredulous, his shoulders shake a bit under his silent laugh making Jongdae feel dumb and clueless. Then Junmyeon grabs his hands lowering their arms together and looking into his eyes warmly. They’re holding hands quite often recently, Jongdae notices as his cheeks start to burn.

“No, no Jongdae. Sehun isn’t my ex boyfriend. He’s Minseok’s. He’s  _ that _ ex boyfriend”

He’s left speechless. He tries to formulate a sentence but he’s so shocked that he has to close his mouth.

Minseok’s ex boyfriend. The boyfriend that convinced him and Junmyeon to try and end Minseok’s marriage. The person Junmyeon said Minseok has loved more than anyone else.

Now that he thinks about it, it’s been so obvious with Junmyeon trying to avoid any conversation addressing Minseok or the way he looked at Sehun like he felt guilty of something. He did feel guilty, and sad because once again Junmyeon thinks it’s his fault if Minseok and Sehun aren’t together, that it’s his fault if Minseok left Sehun.

He should feel shitty, even more now that he knows Sehun is stunning and that Minseok probably has standard so high he was never taken as an option, but it actually makes him feel better. It’s a strange feeling but he’s too tired to read too much into it. 

"I'm sorry if I made you think otherwise" Junmyeon is nervous, that much Jongdae can say from how his voice cracks on some words. He grips onto his hands while keeping his eyes down and it somehow makes Jongdae feel trapped. The situation is slipping from their fingers, he thinks, because Junmyeon shouldn't feel the need to apologize for something Jongdae has nothing to do, even if Jongdae's belly is fluttering in a very unnecessary way. He wants to tell him that it's fine, that it's not like they're really dating, but he stops, because it would mean to bring up a topic he's not sure he wants to face. Like the reason why they both haven't denied Sehun's suspicion or why they keep holding hands when it's clear that it's not because they're simply friends. Or maybe yes? Maybe Junmyeon really is doing all of this just because he's a friend. Again, Jongdae doesn't question, for he's not ready to know the answer.

He nods softly, wears his best smile and forces Junmyeon to go with him on a few more rides. 

It's still his birthday and they can still pretend.

It's dark when Junmyeon parks his car in front of Jongdae's apartment, not late but the sun has gone down already and they've stopped in the way to have one last birthday meal before Junmyeon heads to work. 

Jongdae doesn't want to call it his best birthday, but he surely will cherish the memory for a long time.

"Thank you for today, I had a lot of fun" 

Jongdae remembers a time when Junmyeon had come all the way to his place to give him back his sweater, he remembers a long night together inside that same car. He knows he has work the following day but despite having spent many hours with Junmyeon he still wishes there was more time. 

"I'm sorry Minseok couldn't come" Replies the other. 

Jongdae sighs, a small bitter smile creeps out his face. He expected it, the day is coming to an end, they're not at the park anymore and of course they need to go back to their life. Jongdae isn't sure why Minseok's name is suddenly burdening, but he can sense that something has changed. Not only that day, it's been different for a while and he doesn't know how to voice it. He wants to ask Junmyeon if he feels different too and why are they acting like Minseok isn't getting married in two weeks and their plan is about to fail miserably. He opens his mouth and then closes it immediately. He can't, he doesn't know why but he can't.

The silence is starting to weight down inside the car so Jongdae clears his voice and says "I think I should go now" 

Junmyeon nods but no one move. He must be in a hurry because it's pretty late and Jongdae knows he has a radio show to host but there's a tension in his arms that tells he's not gonna leave, almost as if he had something to say first. 

When Jongdae looks up, Junmyeon is watching him. No, he's staring at him, staring into him, trying to read him. His brows are furrowed and his lips clasped in a thin line, he looks handsome as he always has. 

"Jongdae" His name is a soft whisper that Jongdae barely catches. He holds his breath. 

Junmyeon purses his lips, tries to talk but bites his lips right after, making Jongdae squirm in anticipation. His mind is so focused on the other, his eyes, mouth, the small scar on the bridge of his nose, he reads Junmyeon like Junmyeon is reading him and what he sees is an equal confusion, the same worry and at the same time eagerness to find out what is happening, how they feel about this change.

"I-" Junmyeon tries again but fails again, grimaces at his own cowardly. Jongdae wants to say that it's okay, that it's hard for him too, that they don't know what to say because they don't know what's happening, but he also wants Junmyeon to go on and say  _ it _ , to bring  _ it _ up first. Even if he has no idea what  _ it _ is.

Junmyeon's eyes flick to his lips for a second but it's enough for Jongdae to follow the same path and suddenly he feels like getting closer, wishes Junmyeon would whisper his name again. 

"You what?" The younger asks in one last desperate attempt to make Junmyeon talk. 

He can swear his heart is about to burst out of his ribcage, he feels the throb in his head and ears, he ever forgets to blink for several seconds and all because Junmyeon won't stop staring and being so damn inviting. 

It's a moment later that Junmyeon's eyes turns sad and resigned, losing his own battle and then he's moving quickly and reaches out to take the giraffe headband and throwing it to Jongdae. 

"It's your present, don't forget it"

Jongdae exhales trying to hide the disappointment.  _ It's better like this _ , he repeats, but when he steps out of the car and Junmyeon drives away, he feels an emptiness that a gift can't quench. It's an emptiness that not even a hundred texts from Minseok can make him forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! it's my 4th week of quarantine, i know it's hard and suffocating but please stay safe and I hope this chapter keeps you busy for an hour or so ;)) Also, thank you soooo much to everyone who commented and left kudos, I think there'll be two more chaps after this so im determined to finish the story in the first half of 2020. Let's support Junmyeon's new solo album too ♥ (++ i'm so sorry i feel like this chapter is shit-written, i'll work harder on the next!)
> 
> ** since someone might forgot, jongdae told junmyeon that minseok was supposed to bring him to lotte world for his birthday when they went to the club

**Author's Note:**

> omg you finished the first chap! how brave  
now take a moment, drink some water, send love to suchen then leave a comment to let me know if you liked it ♥
> 
> [twitter_ uvu](https://twitter.com/4leafkjm)


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